So Friday I was blessed with the opportunity to drink in excess for the first time in a while. I generally handle my alcohol better than I did...dun dun dun!
We (Sarah, Jaclyn, & Mary from my classes) & some Random Guy Mary knows started off at City Place & got a trolley to Clematis St., which is where the debauchery takes place downtown. We went to this sea-themed restaurant & I got what was called a "Dark & Stormy," which contained ginger beer & rum. I wasn't impressed. We then went to some other place where I got a Long Island Iced Tea. I was feeling good as I do, & as we were gonna leave Random Guy brought us Kamikaze shots.
Here is where things take a turn. I hate shots. I mean, I despise them. They're too strong & I don't like having that much liquid in my mouth at once (that's what she said). The problem was I didn't want to be rude. And Sarah didn't finish her shot so I had a shot & 1/2.
I was still feeling ok, & we went to another bar. Sarah departed us, & the place we go to is crazy. We find a quieter place on a patio, & Jaclyn & I get Corona's. We just sit there, chillin', when I realize I must urinate. Jaclyn goes with me & I am unable to perform my urination. We go back, & I begin to feel super drunk & still have to pee, so Jaclyn goes back with me. I sit on a bench outside the bathroom feeling horrible. And then...AND THEN........
I puke on myself.
Poor Jaclyn goes to get me water & keeps me drinking that. Then I almost pass out on the bench. I get in a bathroom stall & puke more. Then these guys start yelling at me to hurry up. I stumble out & Jaclyn & I get a cab & leave Mary & Random Guy. I then.....
Puke on the poor cab driver's arm, on his magazines, & the floor of the cab.
Now on the plus side, I didn't puke anymore that night. On the negative side, I just puked on someone who is not my mother.
After moving to the front seat of the cab so I could stick my head out of the window, we're suddenly at my apartment & I stumble out & go lay down in front of the door. Jaclyn goes inside to get some Windex & paper towels & cleans the cab & pays. She then comes back & stays with me while I lay on the cement. Then she helped me back inside & stayed with me for a little while whilst I am draped over the toilet.
After she left, I just slept on the floor until about 5:00am, waking up every-so-often when my toilet would start running.
On the plus side, I didn't have to pee anymore, either. On the negative side, that's because I peed on myself sometime around 4:00am.
Sweet Lord, I'm a hot mess sometimes...
1 comment:
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I've been there, done that...and I hated it too. I'm so glad Jaclyn was with you. That could have been a very ugly night. God bless you, baby. Seriously.
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