That Time I Could Have Had A Girlfriend

As most people know, I'm not exactly someone who dates a lot; my last relationship was over 2 years ago, & I haven't dated since. Not because I'm so damaged from that relationship that it has impeded my ability to ever love again. No, that lasted a month. And she was 17 while I was 22. And she was a junior in high school while I was a senior in college. But that's another story. The reason I don't date now is a mixture of shyness, anxiety, depression, laziness, & not being interested.

Since beggars can't be choosers, you'd think I might snatch up any chance I had to date someone. And you may be right in some respects. So maybe I'm crazy, but this week I passed up the chance to date a girl from my hometown. She texted me non-stop & would literally beg to see me. The reason why I decided against it?

She had Down's Syndrome.

I'm not a hater. My mom is a special education teacher so I've grown up being sensitive to those with special needs & disabilities. And this post isn't meant to be in poor taste or to make fun of her because of her disability. Not at all. This is just me relaying yet another ridiculous story in my life.

Anyway, Christy (not her name) & I were friends a long time ago. After my parents & I moved to Rocky Mount, we began attending the same church as Christy & her parents, Donna & Mark (not their names either). My mother became friends with Donna, so Christy & I were naturally forced together. However, it became apparent pretty quickly that we were just being used as free babysitters, & a few years later Donna dropped my mom like a hot rock when a better friendship option presented itself. I didn't mind, because Christy was a terror. Her parents let her do whatever she wanted & didn't seem to take into account that she was handicapped. That might have required effort.

So about a year ago Christy added me on Facebook, as is her wont to do. She asked for my number & I gave it to her, but nothing came of it. Eventually, as I was going through one of my rage-induced friend cleanses on Facebook, I deleted her. Well this past week she added me again, then called me immediately afterwards before I could respond to her friend request. We talked for a few minutes, & when I hung up she began to text me non-stop. Shortly after that was when she asked me point-blank if I would let her be my girlfriend.

Shit.

I told her I didn't think that was a good idea because I didn't think of her that way, saw her as a little sister, blah blah blah. She didn't like that response, because she spent the next 3 days trying to convince/manipulate me into getting into a relationship with her, even going so far as to say that I was her only chance. She tried to get me to move back to Rocky Mount, & when I told her I didn't want to because I didn't like it there, she said that meant that I didn't like her. Where was she getting this crap?!

She invited me to her birthday dinner, & then asked me immediately afterwards what I was getting her. I told her that was rude to ask, & she took that to mean that I was calling her rude. She is, but that wasn't what I was saying at the moment. After a few days of this kind of manipulation & constant texting where she's always asking me what I was doing & literally BEGGING to see me, I had had enough. I blocked her on Facebook & told her that my phone was messing up & that I couldn't text anymore. That isn't a lie, either. My phone really is messed up & it takes an eternity to type out a text message.

Part of me feels bad for not being willing to continue this, but it isn't fair for either one of us. It keeps her thinking more is going on than it is, while at the same time it drives me crazy with the constant texting & brings back bad memories.

But really all I want to know is how she was able to text so well. The thought of someone helping her write that crap is almost more infuriating than the whole situation in itself.

The Life Ruiner

Because there really isn't much to report in my life right now that isn't super depressing, I'm going to write about my experiences with the person who gave me my first taste of an individual sucking in every way imaginable.

Ashley (not her real name) & I went to college together my first year away from home. She had been a student the year before, & had been a part of the friend group that I initially became a part of once I transferred there. I had been warned previously that she was very loud, obnoxious, dramatic, & couldn't be trusted, but in my naiveté I thought I could handle it.

I was wrong. Initially.

Things at first went well. Yes, she was loud, obnoxious, & dramatic, but I didn't see so much that she couldn't be trusted. In fact, she seemed like she could be very trustworthy! But then I started to notice how events that I was present for began to sound...different when they were retold by her. And how she would just look at someone & right there on the spot make up a rumor about them without any prior conversation with them.

Bitch was scary.

In the span of two weeks she wrecked two cars (one of which I was in [which is another story]). It was around this time that she became very attached to this guy, Greg (not even close to his real name). The thing with Greg though was that he had a girlfriend at the time named Hope. However, Hope was best friends with Ashley (you can see where this is going). But before any of that crap came out, first Hope announces to everyone that she's not coming back the next semester. Well, whatever. That happens. But right before finals, Ashley tells certain people in our friend group (not me) that her friend, Jesse (who was in a gang, according to her) had a rival gang going after him & his friends. Which included Ashley. And then that somehow spread to Ashley's friends (which included me, unbeknownst to me).

Then one night before school let out, Ashley came back to her room with her clothes all torn up, saying she had been raped by the rival gang. Oh noes!

So that got the rest of our friends banded together (except for me, who was kept in the dark. Thanks!). The winter term (which lasted two weeks) was when I found out, & at first I was really upset until I began to realize how the story didn't make much sense. After comparing notes with other people, I decided that it wasn't true. And neither was a lot of what she had said, such as another one of my friends hitting her (which I didn't believe for a second). It was also around this time that it came out that Ashley & Greg had been hooking up, which caused a split in the friend group. I ended up going with the people who weren't with Ashley, because my mama didn't raise no fool (sometimes).

The rest of the semester was still pretty dramatic with Ashley still on campus, leaving drama & horror in her hefty wake. By the end of the semester, she & Greg were no longer friends & she was slashing her own tires & blaming him for it (he was even out of town when that happened). Luckily her grades were terrible so she transferred to another school. She was out of my life.

Not so fast!

Ashley began visiting a lot at the end of the next fall semester because Hope returned & they patched things up. Then her cousin, Erica, came into the picture over Christmas break. She befriended a lot of people since she was going to be attending TFC the next semester. It was weird though that Erica only had a Myspace & didn't have a cell phone. In any case, she & Greg (who had also left TFC) began flirting online. Then all of the sudden, Erica is no longer going to school there & Ashley is involved in our lives again because it was just. so. dramatic. I wasn't having it, because by that point I had already figured out with Caitlin that Erica was really Ashley. But it was fun to just string her along, not gonna lie.

It especially became fun when all of the sudden Erica went from a really thin punk girl with brown hair to a more chunky girl with blonde hair & blue eyes.

After the Erica drama died down, I thought everything would be over with her. Until she moved to Toccoa. Are you serious?! And then she tried to get a job at Applebee's! I told the manager not to hire her, but he didn't listen. Eventually, he did tell me he should have. Thank you, Dean.

In that time at Applebee's, she got raped again. Wow. She has terrible luck, doesn't she? She also managed to alienate herself from almost every friend she had, which wasn't shocking. Thankfully, she was gone by the end of the summer (her choice, though I so wanted to see her get fired). She popped up from time to time, but managed to not bring any drama with her. The last time I saw her was in 2009 when I was working over Christmas break. She was visiting (she just never goes away!) & asked me why I had blocked her on Facebook. I told her that being friends with her just caused too much drama & left it at that.

So over time, I definitely learned to handle her better. Especially after her first rape incident. That was also when I learned how batshit crazy some people are.

I also need to add that I left out certain pieces that didn't ultimately impact the outcome of the story. Like how she had "gotten pregnant" before I went to TFC. And how she "had cancer" at one point. And how Jesse "died in a car accident" the semester after her "rape" but then a few weeks later she posted new pictures of herself with him on Facebook. Or how she got Jesse to message me on Facebook & try to start some drama with me about a comment someone had made on a picture I had posted.

And before people flip out & say, "Well, maybe she really was raped!" let me assure you that no, she wasn't. She ended up coming clean about the whole gang drama being a lie.

How do I always attract these people?

The Suicidal Applebee's Cook

A while back I promised I'd write about the suicidal cook at Applebee's. Well, the time has come for me to share this story with the world...

It was fall in 2008 & a week night. My girlfriend at the time (during the 2 weeks we dated before I broke up with her) were bored so we went to Applebee's. Please note that the town we went to college in is ridiculously small & Applebee's was the only non-fast food, non-ethnic (Mexican or Chinese) restaurant in the whole place. It was also where I worked & wanted to eat cheaply since I was one of the only employees they let eat with a discount off the clock.

Anyway. GF & I were there, talking to the two waitresses still there (who also went to school with us) & the manager. One of the cooks, Tom, who was a known drug dealer/user was also there & had been pacing around the dining room & acting more weird than normal, but I didn't think much of it. Then I saw him run out of the kitchen & go out the side door, quickly followed by my manager, who returned back inside shortly. That was when he informed us that Tom had taken one of the prep knives & sliced his right arm. Tom was freaking out & acting violent in the parking lot, but my manager was already in the process of calling 911. The paramedics eventually arrived & carted Tom to the ER while the rest of us were in shock. All of us, that is, except for the dishwasher: a large black guy nicknamed "Debo" (I'm using his real nickname because seriously....). Debo wasn't upset at all. Instead, he was pissed because he had already cleaned the floors & now had to do it again because of the blood.

On the subject of blood...let's just say there was a lot. As Tom ran by the side stations where the extra sauces, napkins, a some of the computers are located, he trailed and splashed blood. On bottles. On the counter. The carpet. All of it.

Anyway, it turns out he did it because he was so hopped up on drugs & was upset because another cook, a female, had rejected him so he decided that was the best course of action. And to this day, he doesn't have full use of his hand because he had sliced his arm completely to the bone, causing irreparable damage.