Doctor Time

I think I'm going to make an appointment to see the doctor while I still have insurance (my mom can retire in February, plus I'm getting old). I'm not necessarily sick, but something just feels off. Well, more off than usual.

Aside from my usual anxiety & depression crap, I'm just exhausted all the time. At this point I'm struggling to get my homework done because just thinking about starting it wears me out & I then I find myself taking a 5 hour nap. I'm getting it done, but I'm stressed out the whole time because I dicked around all week because I was napping or watching TV because I was stressed out.

My room is a mess right now because I start thinking about how I need to clean it & then I start to worry about where I'm going to put it. Then I get tired & just give up. There are two piles of books on either side of my bed. They've been there for weeks & I have no idea what to do with them.

Riveting stuff.

Kill me.

I have no energy to read much for pleasure. It takes too much effort. Even watching TV or getting on the internet takes too much energy.

I had been worried I was overwhelmingly lazy, but my counselor doesn't think it's that. He suggested that I might as well get it figured out while I still have insurance, in case it's something more serious than we think.

And just so everyone knows, if I start thinking about exercising that almost does me in. I've had a yoga mat for almost a month that I haven't even unrolled. I don't think it's my diet either, because I eat quite a bit of fruits, veggies, & grains.

I'm not really concerned. Just pissed off more than anything.

P90X: Day 1

So I started P90X today/yesterday. Overall, it was kind of a fail. I started off watching the introductory DVD while eating ice cream. So committed! Then I moved up to my room because I had a feeling Skidmark (the new nickname I gave my roommate since he's always leaving little 'presents' on the toilet bowl) would be coming home soon. Well, I didn't have everything I needed, the most important being stamina.

They kept doing push-ups & pull-ups & I did ok on the first set of push-ups but after a while I'd go down & then not be able to go back up. I have a pull-up bar but couldn't utilize it because Skidmark was home. AND I couldn't see my laptop screen from the floor in my 'attempts' at push-ups. After about 30 minutes I got completely frustrated, pissed, & defeated & took a 3 hour nap.

I'm currently quite sore & know it's going to get worse. And I didn't even drink my protein so it's like I wasted an entire day.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.