Going Downhill

It has recently come to my attention that I'm getting older.

I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but it's true. I am almost halfway to 50.

Now, I know this may bring me the ire of my readers that are much, much older than I am (Dr. Ken, I'm looking at you). However, I'm having difficulty accepting this harsh fact.

It's tough waking up in the morning after a long night of drinking by myself & actually having to deal with a hangover. In the past, I would be able to drink until I laid down & went to sleep (I refuse to black-out. Whenever I feel one coming on, I decide to "go to sleep"). The next morning, I would wake up feeling as bright & sunny as I possibly could considering I'm borderline homicidal when I wake up. But now? Now I have the headache. And my eyes don't focus as well. And I move quite sluggishly. Mookie.

And to be prematurely losing my hair. Granted, this has been going on since I took Depakote when I was 18 as a mood stabilizer & it was one of the side-effects. But since then, I feel like I've been fighting a losing battle. It is honestly the one thing in my life I'm the most self-conscious of. It's not that I weigh 140lbs or that my voice sounds like I'm always stopped-up, bored, & taking estrogen injections or even my inability to do anything with coordination or grace. It's the fact that my hair is thinning. Luckily, I've found some products that seem to be working to slow down the process & possibly reverse it, so we'll see.

And you know what? I can tell my metabolism is slowing down. Even though my arms & legs are still uber skinny, my tummy is getting some pooch to it. And baby doesn't like that.

AND I can't seem to function on 2 hours of sleep anymore. When I was in college, I would be on the internet or reading until the birds started chirping or later. Then, I'd wake up about 2 hours later & while still tired, I wasn't essentially a functional zombie. Nowadays, if I get much less than 5 hours (such as the way tonight is going to turn out, I see) I really struggle throughout the day.

If this is how the rest of my Twilight Years are going to be, I'm really not looking forward to it.

Ants in my pants (fo' realz)

Ok, so my apartment has a bit of an infestation. With ants. Lots of them. And they aren't just the little tiny cute ones. No, it also has the bigger ones as well.

They are on my dresser.

They are on my bathroom ceiling.

They crawl out of my sink drain.

They are occasionally on my pillow as a type.

They are in the kitchen cabinets.

They are in my underwear (I know...)

It drives me crazy. And it's not like I can blame My Giant for this because Lord knows I would if I could. But it seems as if the ants have more of an affection for me than for my tall friend. It's flattering in a way, & I am extremely honored to have this attention, but...there are bugs.

Everywhere.

Those of you that know me know I'm a clean person! I hate getting dirty & don't play when it comes to hygiene. I don't want to get an exterminator (the school would take care of it. My Giant checked) because then I'd have to move all of my stuff around & also I feel like that would be more cruel than if I took care of the problem on my own (which right now consists of me either pouring water on them or spraying them with hair product).

And everytime I force one to cease to live, I always think of the poor ant from "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids" & how I cried for hours after that damn scorpion killed him.




Poor little guy. He just wanted to help!