Going Downhill

It has recently come to my attention that I'm getting older.

I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but it's true. I am almost halfway to 50.

Now, I know this may bring me the ire of my readers that are much, much older than I am (Dr. Ken, I'm looking at you). However, I'm having difficulty accepting this harsh fact.

It's tough waking up in the morning after a long night of drinking by myself & actually having to deal with a hangover. In the past, I would be able to drink until I laid down & went to sleep (I refuse to black-out. Whenever I feel one coming on, I decide to "go to sleep"). The next morning, I would wake up feeling as bright & sunny as I possibly could considering I'm borderline homicidal when I wake up. But now? Now I have the headache. And my eyes don't focus as well. And I move quite sluggishly. Mookie.

And to be prematurely losing my hair. Granted, this has been going on since I took Depakote when I was 18 as a mood stabilizer & it was one of the side-effects. But since then, I feel like I've been fighting a losing battle. It is honestly the one thing in my life I'm the most self-conscious of. It's not that I weigh 140lbs or that my voice sounds like I'm always stopped-up, bored, & taking estrogen injections or even my inability to do anything with coordination or grace. It's the fact that my hair is thinning. Luckily, I've found some products that seem to be working to slow down the process & possibly reverse it, so we'll see.

And you know what? I can tell my metabolism is slowing down. Even though my arms & legs are still uber skinny, my tummy is getting some pooch to it. And baby doesn't like that.

AND I can't seem to function on 2 hours of sleep anymore. When I was in college, I would be on the internet or reading until the birds started chirping or later. Then, I'd wake up about 2 hours later & while still tired, I wasn't essentially a functional zombie. Nowadays, if I get much less than 5 hours (such as the way tonight is going to turn out, I see) I really struggle throughout the day.

If this is how the rest of my Twilight Years are going to be, I'm really not looking forward to it.

Exhausted

I worked my first full weekend schedule the past few days. Saturday & Sunday nights, 8pm-8am. I am currently sitting at my laptop with both of my eyes burning, my right eye barely open, & a weird feeling in the back of my throat (that's what she said). Out of the past 48 hours I've slept about 6 (I have a hard time sleeping when I know I don't have long & what I have afterwards is important).

Work went a lot better than I thought it would. In fact, I was told I was doing better than they expected (which considering they didn't expect much I guess that's a compliment?). I had to get a little crunk with one of the clients on Saturday because the twat-waffle wouldn't turn off his TV after I repeatedly told him to. He then accused me of trying to cause problems. However, there's another new counselor assistant who is the same age as me, but shorter, but also more muscular & the twat-waffle has no problem listening to him. Whatever. Such is my life.

I started watching "Sons of Anarchy" last night. It's so good! My co-worker & I watched the first 5 episodes of season 1 & I shall be finishing up the rest soon.

Oh yeah, my semester will be over on Thursday, & then I head back to Toccoa for a week of God-knows-what & Applebee's.

And also? I kind of got a mohawk. It's not a faux-hawk, but the sides aren't shaved. They're really short though.

Awkward

In class Wednesday evening I was sitting next to a friend who appeared to have a hair on her v-neck shirt. I went pull it off when her skin pulled up & the hair came out.

Yes, that's right. I pulled out a chest hair on a girl.

She was like, "What was that?" & I tried to act nonchalant about it while also trying not to laugh.

One of the most awkward moments I've had in recent times.