Thursday, February 4, 2010

Late night

Definitely should be in bed. Instead, I'm sitting here listening to Owl City & thinking.

I applied for a job yesterday as a case manager at a family center place. One of the girls in my Master's program works there (other people do as well but she's the one that told me about the job so I'm using her the most) & I'm hoping she can at least get me an interview. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do if I'm not able to get a better job. The school is going to make all of the students who live in the apartment complex move in May because their lease with the church who actually owns them runs out & they aren't renewing, so we all have to leave. I knew this going into it, but I wasn't expecting things to turn out the way they have down here.

On top of getting the job for financial reasons (it pays very well for someone like me), I also want it because it will help me feel like a real adult. I've felt like I was in limbo for a while now, & it's getting worse. I still feel like a teenager, though I know I'm not, & people expect me to be an adult, but I can't support myself, etc. I mean, my parents still pay for basically everything except my food (when I'm not home), DVD's, CD's, & clothes (they sometimes get those as well).

I don't want people to think I'm ungrateful because I'm not at all. I appreciate my parents & their willingness to take on these added financial burdens while I'm still a student, but it would be nice if I could do SOMETHING.

If I can't get a job, I'm screwed. I don't have any friends I could live with, & my parents won't be able to take on the extra burden of rent for me. I may end up having to take some time off from school which would fuck me over even more than throwing off my schedule because I have to be a full-time student to have insurance under my parents.

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