Taking The Fork Out

I'm turning my notice in on Friday. A little pre-emptive damage control for my resume, if you will. Dixie said they're out to get me at this point, so ya know...

I didn't realize I was that special! Definitely an ego boost, that's for sure.

Oh yeah, I also just finished my last in-class class of Grad school for this school year. Now all I have to do is finish my independent study (patooey!) & I might be done with Grad school FOREVER.

The Fork Is Stabbing Deeper

Talked to Dixie, my classmate/friend who works in the main office at my job. Apparently there was a staff meeting today for general reasons & my supervisor felt the need to bring up the hospital incident.

I'm being turned into a scapegoat for not following a procedure that doesn't exist. Some of the people were arguing that I should have called one of the nurses, which is not a procedure at all. The nurses are only used for detox clients & to prescribe psychiatric medication. That's it. When I've tried to talk to the detox nurse before about general medication, I've been told that isn't her responsibility.

And guess what! My supervisor, who never once mentioned the fake nurse procedure last night, said in the meeting that she thought that I should have done that.

So then it turned into a Dixie vs. Almost Everyone Else showdown about whether this procedure exists or not. Dixie would know, too, since she worked as a Counselor Assistant for about a year there before being promoted to Case Manager.

Jesus H. Christ.

Uncertainty

There's so much uncertainty in my life right now. Ohmuhgosh you guys! The jury is still out on whether or not I'm going to be fired. According to Dixie (classmate & co-worker) I don't have anything to worry about as far as what happened last weekend is concerned. However, the guy I replaced was told he had nothing to worry about. No matter what I do, I'm wrong. When I ask a question I'm treated like I'm stupid. If a client asks me something, whatever my course of action (letting them do something or not, answering their question, doing something for them) is wrong. Always.

The clients don't take me seriously as an authority figure. Whenever I try to get them to do something they either try to manipulate me, ignore me, or flat-out tell me they aren't gonna do it. I used to try to reason with them but it's just not worth it anymore. Now I tell them what I need them to do, I let them tell me what they're actually going to do, & then I say, "OK" & walk off.

One of the clients I got along really well with (an older guy who left yesterday. Of course) told me that a supervisor was talking to him about how unobservant I am (so professional) so the client was trying to help me. I told him I'm actually quite observant but I've basically given up because it doesn't seem to matter.

Now, you might be thinking, "Andrew, you can turn this around. You don't know they're going to fire you" & you might very well be correct. However, I saw this weekend on the calender on the desk of the guy who hired me (& now tells clients I am unobservant) that he had an interview with a guy scheduled for today. And they always do this: hire a replacement of the same gender before they get rid of their intended victim. My parents & a few others think I should go ahead & quit so I don't get fired, but I'm afraid I'm jumping the gun & who knows how long it will take me to find another job.

I feel like someone who knows they're about to get voted off on "Survivor." Like a screwed sitting duck.