The Story Of My Move

Remember back when I was living with Skidmark? And remember that time I moved with little fanfare? Well, here is the story of the move. There really isn't much to report but I figure that since my time living in The Porn Nexus (t.m. Caleb) was a bit epic that I need to at least include the resolution.

After toying with the idea of moving since about a month after I moved in with Le Skidmark, I had started to actively pursue housing leads. I had checked out a place in December that was less than a mile from my job. It was with a guy from my church (who I had never met but I knew people who knew him), & it was pretty nice. I was just incredibly hesitant to accept it because I'd be losing a lot of space, it was more expensive, I'd have to actually move, & I wasn't sure I trusted my new roommate. Not that he gave me any reason not to trust him. But just after my past roommate experiences (My Giant, Skidmark, Really Conservative Guy) & life experiences in general (Bi-Sexual Wiccan, Truck Driver, Mexican Stalker, Other Stuff) I had trust issues. Understandably.

Well, after I found the blood splatters on the bathroom mirror (& on the faucet knob) I decided that enough was enough. After dilly-dallying & trying to coordinate everything, I pushed the move up a week.

I wish I could say it was really dramatic, hilarious, or tragic. I really do. Because that isn't as boring as this. But (un)forunately everything went well. Skidmark took the news well, & even had an ad for my replacement on Craigslist the day I told him (replacement has since moved in).

The only thing to note is that I told him that the reason I was moving was because "certain behaviors" made me uncomfortable & that it might be a good idea for him to tell future roommates so they weren't thrown into this whole world without knowing. He apologized for me being uncomfortable. And the day I moved we didn't even say goodbye. We did speak, but I can't remember what all was said. It doesn't matter anyway.

I had to switch out my beds though. The bed I had while living with Skidmark was a full, but my new room would have been a lot more cramped if I had used it. So a switch was made with the bed I had used while living in Toccoa with my dad (a twin). While switching the beds (& dropping off other random items that I didn't need), my mother made a new best friend in Amaris, a girl from my small group. They seriously talked the entire time the guys (including me) were moving the stuff.

So here I am. I've been living here for a month & a half. It's been great so far. I actually spend more time out of my room than I do in it. I have my own bathroom, so any blood to be found has an obvious source (oh wait....).

That Time My Mexican Stalker Returned

Remember this post where I was almost raped outside of the bathroom at work?

Well, guess who's been coming back by to see me.....

I've been expecting to see him periodically since the original incident but hadn't thought about it too much recently. Then Sunday morning a coworker told me he had come by the night before (right after I left, too) & asked if his "friend Andrew" still worked there. They told him I did, but that I had just left. The next morning (Sunday) he came by again before I got there & asked if I still worked there. They told him I hadn't quit in the past 12 hours (I'm sure they were nicer than that).

About 10 minutes after my coworker told me that he had been asking for me, she told me that he was there right now & I look over & see him standing near the bathroom (WTF?!) waving & smiling at me. I smile & wave back, because really....what else is there to do?

He put his limp wrist out towards me & I stared at him in shock, thinking he wanted me to kiss his hand. I asked what he wanted me to do, & apparently he was wanting me to give him a fist bump. I did, & he got my coworker to give him one too. She was trying not to crack up, but I was dreading what was coming next. Which happened when he started talking about his sister. But this sister wasn't in Mexico, according to him. This one lives on a street that intersects with mine (did not tell him). He was still giving me creepy eyes, & after a few minutes I just walk away because I had nothing else to contribute.

I told two of my shift leaders that he gives me the willies. After I left work today I got a text from another co-worker saying that he came back & one of the shift's talked to him. THEN I got a text from the coworker from Sunday who said he was talking to her & said he respects me. And he hugged another customer.

Hopefully this ends. And I hope to know what was said between him & my shift leader soon.

I also forgot to add that we aren't allowed to let him use the phone anymore because he calls Mexico. Seriously.

That Time I Could Have Gotten Raped By The Bathroom At Work

At work today we were really slow so I volunteered to do different cleaning activities. As I was about to enter the ladies' bathroom to sweep, this Hispanic gentleman came up to me, smiling. He asked me in very, very broken English & in a very meek voice if I worked there. I told him I did (I did not say anything about the apron, the drive-thru headset, the promotional shirt I was wearing, or the broom & dustpan I was holding). He asked how old I was as he put his hand on my shoulder. 24, I said. He told me I looked very young to have a job & I told him that I get that a lot. Smiling, he told me he was looking for a friend. I ignored that. He asked if I was single (ah shit) & I told him I didn't currently have a girlfriend. He told me his astrological sign & asked for mine. I told him I was Cancer (in more ways that one [I didn't actually say that because he wouldn't understand]). He asked if that was pronounced the same way as the *holds invisible cigarette to his lips*. I told him that yes, it was pronounced the same as the disease. He apologized for looking so dirty. I told him it was fine. At this point I'm thinking....

I'm pretty much cornered in a small hallway, so I decide it's best if I extract myself from this situation, pronto. I told him I had to help make drinks & left. I gave a head's up to my shift leader about what had happened, which was probably good considering what happened next.

As she is out in the dining area he comes out of the bathroom (he was in there for about 15 minutes) & starts talking to her for a little bit. She came back smiling & told me that he was asking me all of those questions because he has a younger sister in Mexico that he wanted me to date & that I seem very nice. I just kind of laughed it off, but I'm not buying it. Why would he apologize for looking dirty & comment on my young appearance right before he said he is looking for a friend? I've been down this road before & everything he was doing, I've seen before. Be it a truck driver, a regular college student, a thug, a Wiccan, or a Mexican: they always want to "hang out." Sorry boys, but this *gestures to my hot bod* isn't free.

He was also probably in the bathroom so long because he was getting his wank on.

Horny Mexicans

So after work last night I decided I need a little depressant aka booze, so I went to Wal-Mart, forgetting that at any given time, they will only have 2 cash registers open. But I had my mind on the alcohols, so nothing was to stop me. After picking up some pita bread for my hummus, I found the cheapest wine I could find ($4 bottle of Arbor Mist merlot. Don't nobody tell me I'm not refined). I see the dreaded lines ahead of me, & pick the one that seems the shortest. Mistake #1: the other line went just as fast, if not faster.

But as I looked up, I saw this.

Needless to say, I was not amused. I can handle a smidge of PDA when it appears that the people are in love. But this was ridiculous. This guy was all over the girl, & she seemed to only reciprocate because she felt she had to. And the guy was obviously high, drunk, or both. Very bloodshot eyes. So I'm stuck in the line for about 15 minutes, holding my pita bread, texting, with my bottle of Arbor Mist on the ground. I'm doing everything I can to ignore this douchecock, but he keeps looking at me.

Eventually he pays & as he's leaving, he spills part of his drink on the floor & just walks off, leaving the poor cashier who was so overweight she could barely move her arms to clean it up. He then tries to leave through the entrance that is closed at night at a certain time. As I left, they were wandering around the parking lot, looking highly confused.

Humanity, you have no future.

P.S. And yes, I did enjoy my wine. In fact, I drank the whole bottle in about an hour. I'm so classy, I drank it straight from the bottle. My parents would be proud.