Slimeball

Yesterday, I went to my grandma's church. This wouldn't be a big deal except that her pastor is the same pastor from this story. In case you don't want to read about the debacle of my grandfather's death, let me refresh you: the pastor basically turned the funeral into an alter call for people to become saved not just so they could be with Jesus, but so they could also be reunited with my grandfather. He was also just really slimy.

At the service, he was very loud. And just like at the funeral, he coughed the entire time. The most offensive thing he did though was when he was talking about all of the people who needed prayer & he got to two of my great-aunts. Aunt Etta, bless her heart, has had Alzheimer's for a decade at least. And this wonderful pastor said, "And Miss Etta could still use your prayers. She's still hanging on." Well no shit, Sherlock. And she's not going to get better until her body just completely shuts down. Now be respectful of HER CHILDREN, SISTER (my grandmother), nieces, & nephews in the congregation & don't be a twat.

His next attack on my family came when talking about my great-aunt Shirley. I don't even know what's wrong with her except she's in the hospital & probably won't be around much longer. The pastor told everyone, "Yeah, Shirley's in the hospital. Not doing too good. I'm going to visit her tonight." Sigh.

I know I may be blowing this out of proportion, but I just find the way he handles things to be really disrespectful. He also has a terrible comb-over.

On another note, my cousin Jason (not his real name) was arrested Saturday night at a Phish concert. I'm waiting for that magazine with mugshots to come out on Friday & hopefully he'll be in it so he can autograph it. I might as well try to make a crappy situation a little funnier.

Drugs

So the new guy at work already got fired. No one liked him & he was really rude to the clients. Yesterday while a client was trying to talk to him about his life, my co-worker told him that he was above him & didn't need to listen to him. This turned into a big argument with screaming, cussing, & eventually my co-worker making a gesture as if he was masturbatin'. One of the head people happened to be there, saw it, told the supervisor who called the head supervisor ("Love Chunks", as the clients respectfully refer to her) & he was promptly sent home. I was called in & worked 16 hours last night.

For the most part it went well, aside from 2 guys absolutely refusing to listen to me. They keep wandering around into other peoples' apartments & wearing sleeveless shirts or no shirts at all. Of course last night one guy had 4 of his Trazadone pills stolen, so I'm sure shit is gonna hit the fan regarding that.

And I have a bit of a neck cramp from sleeping on the floor with only my outer shirt as a pillow :(

Adventure

I remember it was around this time last year I watched the movie "Into The Wild" for the first time. I thought it was incredibly pretentious & couldn't sleep later on in the night because of the creepy-ass picture they show of the real guy who died. But one thing I got from the movie was that I needed adventure.

My life has been relatively uneventful. College was always in my plan since I can remember. My parents always wanted the best for me, so they always pushed me to be better than everyone in everything I did. For the most part, I was. But my life was so boring (unless I did something stupid, like locking myself in a basement with a bisexual Wiccan or almost getting my ass abducted by a truck driver). I didn't have friends I hung out with while I was a teenager. One time I went about 2 months without leaving the house except to go to my grandma's (I was home schooled at the time). So no adventure then.

When I went to college, I was overwhelmed to say the least. I might have been in a small town, but I had choices! People may or may not have wanted to have me around. And I wanted to be around (almost) everybody. I had adventure (it's always an adventure when alcohol is concerned & when you realize you're kind of a slut that doesn't put out), but I was still stuck in a routine.

Then I saw this movie. Mainly because I love Kristen Stewart & her inconsistent acting. I was stressing out because I was graduating in a few months & had no idea what came next. I knew graduate school was eventually going to occur, but what else? I came up with the idea to road trip. I made a mental list of everywhere I wanted to go (New Orleans, L.A., NYC, the plains of the mid-west). Too bad I couldn't find anyone to go with me & I got into a graduate school.

But here I am. I'll be 24 in exactly 6 months today. I just watched part of the movie again. The drive to do something has returned. Where is my adventure? Should I road trip? I looked at my bank account tonight & after the urge to cry had left, I began to chew on my options. Now would be a good time to just pack up & go somewhere. Obviously I would handle it different than Chris did in the movie (I'd let my parents know where I'd be, I'd be more hygienic, & I wouldn't die. At least not because I ate some damn poisonous berry). But is that the adventure I've been lacking?

Damn. It's too late for me to be thinking about this mess. I just don't want to be older & realize I'd wasted my youth, because I already feel like I've wasted it enough as it is.

Horny Mexicans

So after work last night I decided I need a little depressant aka booze, so I went to Wal-Mart, forgetting that at any given time, they will only have 2 cash registers open. But I had my mind on the alcohols, so nothing was to stop me. After picking up some pita bread for my hummus, I found the cheapest wine I could find ($4 bottle of Arbor Mist merlot. Don't nobody tell me I'm not refined). I see the dreaded lines ahead of me, & pick the one that seems the shortest. Mistake #1: the other line went just as fast, if not faster.

But as I looked up, I saw this.

Needless to say, I was not amused. I can handle a smidge of PDA when it appears that the people are in love. But this was ridiculous. This guy was all over the girl, & she seemed to only reciprocate because she felt she had to. And the guy was obviously high, drunk, or both. Very bloodshot eyes. So I'm stuck in the line for about 15 minutes, holding my pita bread, texting, with my bottle of Arbor Mist on the ground. I'm doing everything I can to ignore this douchecock, but he keeps looking at me.

Eventually he pays & as he's leaving, he spills part of his drink on the floor & just walks off, leaving the poor cashier who was so overweight she could barely move her arms to clean it up. He then tries to leave through the entrance that is closed at night at a certain time. As I left, they were wandering around the parking lot, looking highly confused.

Humanity, you have no future.

P.S. And yes, I did enjoy my wine. In fact, I drank the whole bottle in about an hour. I'm so classy, I drank it straight from the bottle. My parents would be proud.