The Craziest Man

A few weeks ago I ventured out of my depression to help Salem out with buying a van that he could then turn around & sell to make some cash. He had found this pedo-van on Craigslist (we all know how great my track record is with that website) & we made our way out near Fuquay-Varina to look at it. Salem said that the guy was really nice, & that he was even going to inquire about a job (the man owned his own refrigeration company).

Once we got there I was immediately put off because the man was wearing camouflage Crocs.

Like these.

He was incredibly manic, talking nonstop about anything & everything. He rambled on & on about how he beat up people in his family that were stupid with drugs. Did you know that he once hung his nephew upside down in a tree & shot at him? Well, he did. He also talked about almost every individual in his family & about how terrible they all are. Except his mother.

Then he turned the topic to the current state of welfare. Shit. I knew where this was going. He began to refer to black people as monkeys who were abusing the system. The whole time this was going on I just stared at the ground because really, what else could I do? He further proved his idiocy by referring to Michelle Obama as a "direct descendant of Tarzan's wife." This really bothered me, not just because it was offensive, but because it is freaking idiotic. Everyone knows that Tarzan's wife was Jane, who was British. White. That was literally the first thing I thought when he made that statement.

Salem ended up buying the van so we went inside for him to sign the paperwork. It was in his kitchen that I found some of the ingredients to make moonshine. Nope! We got out of there as fast as possible, with me driving Salem's car so he could drive the van.

Then Salem proceeded to get us lost for about an hour or so. And THAT'S what I get for leaving my bedroom.

Job Hunting pt. 1

I was just on Craigslist (since that's always worked out so well for me) looking for jobs. Very discouraging situation to say the least.

There are pretty much no jobs in the mental health/non-profit sector in my area. However, I did find one that seemed like it might be a possible except the punctuation, grammar, and spelling were atrocious so I don't think I'm going to pursue it. Though I'm pretty sure I could get an interview because of my background/training.

Another reason I don't want to do it is because it's working in a group home for boys. After everything that happened at the rehab (for those of you who are new, go back & read my posts from April-July of last year. If you don't want to, let's just say that it ended with me being fired with no explanation) I just don't know if I can work in another setting like that.

On top of that, I essentially grew up isolated & have a hard time knowing what to do with kids. Especially boys. They always want to run around, be rough, & are loud. That scares me.

Plus the fact that I weighed myself yesterday & I'm 140 lbs. Not exactly imposing & commanding of respect. And if the rehab wasn't proof enough, my strategy of trying to gain respect by being friendly didn't work.

I JUST WANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY JESUS H. CHRIST IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So I don't know. Do you guys think I should apply? I've got to get out of this crap coffee shop.

The Story Of My Move

Remember back when I was living with Skidmark? And remember that time I moved with little fanfare? Well, here is the story of the move. There really isn't much to report but I figure that since my time living in The Porn Nexus (t.m. Caleb) was a bit epic that I need to at least include the resolution.

After toying with the idea of moving since about a month after I moved in with Le Skidmark, I had started to actively pursue housing leads. I had checked out a place in December that was less than a mile from my job. It was with a guy from my church (who I had never met but I knew people who knew him), & it was pretty nice. I was just incredibly hesitant to accept it because I'd be losing a lot of space, it was more expensive, I'd have to actually move, & I wasn't sure I trusted my new roommate. Not that he gave me any reason not to trust him. But just after my past roommate experiences (My Giant, Skidmark, Really Conservative Guy) & life experiences in general (Bi-Sexual Wiccan, Truck Driver, Mexican Stalker, Other Stuff) I had trust issues. Understandably.

Well, after I found the blood splatters on the bathroom mirror (& on the faucet knob) I decided that enough was enough. After dilly-dallying & trying to coordinate everything, I pushed the move up a week.

I wish I could say it was really dramatic, hilarious, or tragic. I really do. Because that isn't as boring as this. But (un)forunately everything went well. Skidmark took the news well, & even had an ad for my replacement on Craigslist the day I told him (replacement has since moved in).

The only thing to note is that I told him that the reason I was moving was because "certain behaviors" made me uncomfortable & that it might be a good idea for him to tell future roommates so they weren't thrown into this whole world without knowing. He apologized for me being uncomfortable. And the day I moved we didn't even say goodbye. We did speak, but I can't remember what all was said. It doesn't matter anyway.

I had to switch out my beds though. The bed I had while living with Skidmark was a full, but my new room would have been a lot more cramped if I had used it. So a switch was made with the bed I had used while living in Toccoa with my dad (a twin). While switching the beds (& dropping off other random items that I didn't need), my mother made a new best friend in Amaris, a girl from my small group. They seriously talked the entire time the guys (including me) were moving the stuff.

So here I am. I've been living here for a month & a half. It's been great so far. I actually spend more time out of my room than I do in it. I have my own bathroom, so any blood to be found has an obvious source (oh wait....).

Craigslist 1

I was just casually perusing Missed Connections on Craigslist (as you do) when I found this little gem from my area (actually right near my apartment).

Definitely enlarge it. So good. It could be fake but it's just bizarre enough to be real.