Birthday Story 3: The Time I Threw Up

The birthday I think I'm the most proud of at this point in my life involves vomit. Of course.

It was my 23rd birthday. I had planned to visit some friends from college in Ohio (there seems to be an absurd amount of people from Ohio where I went to college) & figured I'd go during my birthday because then I had a better chance of having fun. We'll see about that...

For my actual birthday, I was celebrating with Robyn & Neil. At the time, they were living together in an apartment connected to Robyn's dad's apartment. However, Robyn was essentially living with his girlfriend (the same girlfriend he visited me with last summer) so I basically just stayed with Neil. Anyway.

The 3 of us, Robyn's girlfriend, & his dad (who is awesome) went to some Mexican restaurant. It just happened to be margarita night. Because THAT'S always a good idea. Robyn's dad bought us some pitchers, but they tasted kind of funny. All of us thought so. That didn't prevent me from drinking 3 glasses of some of the jankiest margaritas ever, though.

So after dinner we went to see "Bruno" (I know...). By this point, I'm feeling like warmed-over shit. We get in the theater & I excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I don't puke. I don't pee. I'm just...in there. Then I go back to the theater. Then back to the bathroom where I don't do anything. This continues for the first part of the movie. By about the halfway point, I gave up & just stayed in the bathroom, where I proceeded to fall asleep sitting on the floor in the stall while leaning against the wall. At least I think that's how I fell asleep. I'm going to tell myself to remember it that way because the thought of me falling asleep on a public bathroom floor any other way is too frightening.

I had been gone so long that Robyn eventually came to get me. He forced me up, told me I wasn't that drunk (he was wrong) & I saw the end of the movie. I was not impressed.

We finally got back to the apartment where I went to sit on the bed. After a few minutes I got that feeling. You know the one (well, you do unless you're Aubree) after you've drank too much & you know exactly what the outcome is going to be. So I hurried as fast as I could to the bathroom. And I puked. A few times.

I tell you what though, I felt awesome afterwards. I laid on the bed & listened to Neil, Robyn, & Sarah talk for a bit. Then I wasn't even drunk anymore & I had so much energy! That is until I got a call from Alexa who was wishing me a happy birthday & also to tell me her cat of 16 years had died.

Also, a few days later I went back with some other people to see "Bruno" while I was sober. I liked it better when I was borderline comatose & not actually in the theater.

My Own Guest Post

So, I did a guest post on Aubree's blog. It's the typical fare: I get into a weird situation with a creeper that could potentially end with me losing my innocence &/or life. This one involves the movie theater & a truck driver.

Enjoy!

The Bisexual Wiccan

It was about a month after the whole court case involving Rummy was resolved & I was still working at the theater. About two hours before closing time was to arrive, this guy I knew, "Bobby," & his girlfriend came in. I knew Bobby because his ex-girlfriend & I went to church together & he worked at the grocery store closest to my house. Anyway, we started talking & the topic of their being Wiccan came up. I found the topic genuinely interesting, plus the fact that I was incredibly lonely, so we decided that after their movie was over & after I got off work we'd go to Dunkin' Donuts.

While at Dunkin' Donuts things started getting uncomfortable. Both of them started talking about my aura, which whatever. I don't really believe that stuff. But unfortunately, they believe it very much & were quite adamant that mine was purple (I don't even know what that means). The girlfriend had to split, but Bobby wanted to still hang out. I agreed. Since Rocky Mount sucks, there wasn't much to do other than go to a house. His house, to be exact.

By this point it was around midnight. His house wasn't too terribly far from mine so it wasn't super inconvenient. He said we could only hang out outside or in his room. His room happening to be in the basement. No biggie. What was a biggie, though, was that his walls were covered in pentagrams that were drawn in blood. And he had other Satanic things around there. Oh, ok.

He tried to get me to drink but I passed, because I was a good boy back then. We went back outside & he kept trying to scare me, flirting. We went back inside & sat on his mattress. Well, I sat. He laid down & kept trying to force me to lay down with him. I eventually did lay down, but didn't put my head on the pillow (that would have been too far). Then he started talking about having sex with guys at work & asking me if I had ever been with any guys. No, I said. Then the conversation turned to Wicca. He started talking about all of these ceremonies & rituals & what they meant. Then he wanted to try something...

Now, I know you're probably thinking he upped his game & put more moves on me, but that wasn't it. Instead, he held both of my hands & pushed his energy through me. And I will tell you something: I felt something. After that, I felt really weird. Around 5am (sheesh) I went home. Later that day my parents found out how late I had been out & they freaked, especially when they found out what happened. They gave me a curfew (I was 19 & had no friends) & called our pastor, making me go to a meeting with him.

Bobby kept trying to hang out with me but I wasn't allowed to hang out with him. It was so frustrating that the only option I had at the time to hang out with anyone & my parents ruined it. Though technically I ruined it by telling them what had happened. But they totally overreacted. While yes, it was creepy & yes, me going down into the basement was incredibly unsafe, I ended up being fine. It was actually a precursor to a whole bunch of crap that was later to follow i.e. me getting myself into really bizarre situations.

Bobby & I are now friends on Facebook & occasionally talk. I saw him last summer at Books-A-Million (Barnes & Noble's retarded cousin) & he seems to be doing...pretty crappy. He is a total pothead & works at a pizza place. And he's still very bi.

That Time I Pressed Assault Charges On A Customer

So the winner of the vote was #3. There is more ridiculousness to come from my present life, as well as the other stories that didn't win.

The date was December 13, 2004. I was 18, in my first semester of community college, & had just gone back to work at the movie theater where I had worked previously. "Blade: Trinity" had come out the day before, & we were quite busy. The way the box-office is set up there, there are two different boxes inside the lobby where the box-office attendants stand, without any kind of glass protection. The girl who had been in the box with me (that's what she said) was off somewhere else & the general manager had taken over her register. This woman came up to my manager to buy herself, her friend, & two kid's tickets to see "Blade: Trinity." I'm going to come right out & say it, but my manager was a complete ass about 97% of the time, on top of being an alcoholic, druggie, & racist. The woman was black, so he wanted to antagonize her some.

He asked if the kid's were hers & she said they weren't. He told her she couldn't buy them tickets, which was true. But he said it in such a way to make her mad. And mad she got. They bickered back & forth for quite a few minutes, all the while I'm standing next to him actually working & selling tickets. Eventually, the woman got so mad that she punched a sign that was in front of his register but she had bad aim & it hit me in the leg instead. She grabbed her posse & they ran, & he ran after them. I laughed about it with the customers who saw it.

Because of the type of town Rocky Mount is, we almost always had police at the theater during the weekend. Well, they became involved in the altercation. It was then we learned her name. Let's just say that her first name was very close to a type of horrible alcohol, her middle name isn't even a word, & her last name is very common. I'll call her Rummy Sascatoon Smith for this story. Anyway, Rummy was arrested. My manager wasn't satisfied with this, so he talks to me about how I was violated & we couldn't stand for this. While I agreed that we needed to prove a point that you can't just act a fool when you don't get your way, I wasn't so keen on the idea of pursuing it further.

He had other plans though, & eventually talked me into pressing assault charges to match his destruction of private property charges he was pressing on her.

However, we find out that our court date is the same day as the first day of classes at the community college. Manager had just re-enrolled there & didn't want to miss, along with me, so he told me that since we pressed the charges that if we didn't show up that it would be like we dropped them. Not so. About a week later I woke up to a cop knocking on my door giving me a subpoena. Two months later, I have to miss class to go to court only to find out that Rummy's lawyer couldn't make it so we got a continuance. A month after that we actually get this shit-show on the road & win.

A few months after that we find out that sweet little Rummy is appealing the judgment. This means we have to go to the county court & have a trial with a jury. I shit you not.

By this point, it's been almost exactly a year since the incident took place. I'm missing class AGAIN only to find out that my case will be heard later in the week. I show up a few days later only to find out that Rummy was withdrawing the appeal & her charges were going on her record.

In total, I missed four days of class just so I could "prove a point" & keep my manager happy. I didn't even sue. There was no reason to try to get money when there wasn't any damage to me. The only damage there was ended up being the sign getting cracked, Rummy's already tarnished record (she had prior embezzlement charges from her career at TJ Maxx), & my attendance record.

I occasionally Google Rummy, just to see what she's up to. She is currently running a beauty school & seems to be doing well.