Cute fail.

Interesting

According to Dixie, who talked to the supervisor who let me go, I was fired because my wonderful partner told them that I never did room checks over night & was afraid of the clients.

That's awesome. Of course I never got a chance to defend myself or talk badly about her because I was too busy doing her job while she slept every single fucking night. Or I was getting fired because I was thrown under the bus for absolutely no reason.

Here is the truth: I did do room checks. Almost every night. Some nights I was more tired than others & did sleep, but I never slept as much as she did. In fact, some nights I checked all of the clients when my only real responsibility were the guys. And no, I was not afraid of the clients. I would have my lovely partner wake them up if we had to check a blood pressure because I hate waking people up & also because sometimes people hit when they are woken up.

That's it. So that's nice to know.

On a more positive note, I had a nice time visiting people at church today (shout out to Rebecca & Rachel. Holla!). And tomorrow I'm probably going to Raleigh to visit Salem who is with his family while on a break from Toccoa.

Journal

About a year ago, I bought a journal from Barnes & Noble. In it, I wrote a few very personal entries. When I moved to West Palm Beach, I continued to write a bit but eventually got sidetracked with life.

Then I lost it sometime around when I moved to the apartment next door.

I looked for it & it never turned up. I felt somewhat nauseous because...that really sucks.

Well, the mystery of my missing journal is now solved. My Giant informed me when I ran into him that he had found it, had tried to contact me, & eventually threw it away. Oh, but he didn't read it. Which is complete bullshit.

So yeah, there ya go.

It Happened

We all knew it was coming.

While I was off this weekend I got a text from my partner telling me that my shift Sunday wasn't covered, then suddenly it was. Weird.

Then Monday I got a text from her telling me to call her, which I did. It was to tell me that this new guy who was working for me this weekend had told her that he was under the impression that his regular shifts would be my Saturday & Sunday 8pm-8am shifts. So we both figured I was being fired, but perhaps I was going to be moved. In preparation, I typed up my notice so I could turn it in either today (Tuesday) or tomorrow (Wednesday).

Too bad I got a call this morning from my non-bitchy supervisor telling me that my 90-day probation period was up (all employees go through that when they are hired) & they weren't going to continue having me work. I told him I figured. He then asked if I would be willing to still pick up shifts if they needed someone to fill in. I told him I would if it was compatible with my availability.

So there's that. I'm not bitter. I'm just pissed at myself for not quitting first. I mean, I have my stupid resignation letter on the taskbar of my laptop when I got the call! But such is life. All I can do now is move on. My next step is going back home for a bit, visit my mom, go to Raleigh & see if that's where I want to live, then go back to Toccoa to help my dad move (since he got a job back home). So who knows.

*sigh*

Apparently I'm White Trash

I don't think I'm ever buying a 40 oz. again. First of all, Heineken is nasty. Second of all, I can't feel my feet. Third of all, that is such a God-awful towel behind me.

That Time I Kept Saying I Was Going To Quit

Remember how I was going to turn in my notice this weekend?

Yeah, didn't happen.

I decided to ride this out as best I can. I want to leave, but just can't. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of me quitting (I'm nothing if not spiteful & vindictive). I enjoy spending time with the clients & being able to make connections with them. I enjoy feeling like I'm helping them. I enjoy how excited some of them get when they see me, to tell me new information about their recovery or what their plan is once they leave. Granted, all of those things are part of why I have "boundary issues" & get me in trouble, but screw that. I'm a relational person, I like to help, the clients want me to help. End of story.

Now, they've hired some new people so I'm sure the end is nigh, but whatever happens happens. I can't control their decision. All I can control is how I do my job & how I react. If I get fired, it's not a reflection of me. It's a reflection of them.

In other news, Robyn & Sarah are coming in 1 day. I need to clean out my car & try to air it out so it stops smelling like bottled up ass. I also need to get ready to be out in the sun a lot, as well as for my liver to hate me (I'm pretty sure I'll be drinking more than I have for a while).

Today

Today was one of those days where you just don't wanna do anything at all. After waking up around 12:30pm, I dragged myself to (semi) get ready to meet one of my counselors at 2:00. Sucks that once I got there & saw he wasn't there, I called him only to find out he had gotten in a minor wreck as he was leaving his neighborhood to meet me.

Oops!

He is ok (he's 78) but obviously, no meeting today. So I started heading home when my gas light came on. Of course the freeway got backed up for some reason & I was panicking that I would run out of gas. But fear not! faithful readers. I made it off an exit & got gas.

Then I proceeded to lay in bed for the next 5 hours, got Chipotle, laid in bed for a while, went to work & picked up my check (since I remembered that the banks are closed on Monday so I need to deposit it tomorrow), & went to Wal-Mart to pick up a $4 bottle of wine (classy). I've now polished off the entire bottle & I'm talking to one of my cousins on Facebook who is currently tripping on shrooms, having just come back from a Phish concert.

Oh, my family.

Expect a post soon of me posting a shit-ton of pictures. I'm feeling nostalgic.