Taking The Fork Out

I'm turning my notice in on Friday. A little pre-emptive damage control for my resume, if you will. Dixie said they're out to get me at this point, so ya know...

I didn't realize I was that special! Definitely an ego boost, that's for sure.

Oh yeah, I also just finished my last in-class class of Grad school for this school year. Now all I have to do is finish my independent study (patooey!) & I might be done with Grad school FOREVER.

The Fork Is Stabbing Deeper

Talked to Dixie, my classmate/friend who works in the main office at my job. Apparently there was a staff meeting today for general reasons & my supervisor felt the need to bring up the hospital incident.

I'm being turned into a scapegoat for not following a procedure that doesn't exist. Some of the people were arguing that I should have called one of the nurses, which is not a procedure at all. The nurses are only used for detox clients & to prescribe psychiatric medication. That's it. When I've tried to talk to the detox nurse before about general medication, I've been told that isn't her responsibility.

And guess what! My supervisor, who never once mentioned the fake nurse procedure last night, said in the meeting that she thought that I should have done that.

So then it turned into a Dixie vs. Almost Everyone Else showdown about whether this procedure exists or not. Dixie would know, too, since she worked as a Counselor Assistant for about a year there before being promoted to Case Manager.

Jesus H. Christ.

The Fork Has Almost Been Stuck In Me

Apparently giving two clients the option to go to the hospital when they might have bronchitis is wrong. Who knew?

Also, just got a call from a professor who has an "in" with the higher-ups at my job. He was warning me that if I don't establish better boundaries I'm going to get fired. Basically, I can't really get engaged in conversations with them.

Fuck this.

And Things Were Going So Well...

After the regime-change this week at work, I was slightly apprehensive about how things would be at work. However, work Friday night went very well. Everybody got along well, most all the clients listened, & it was just a good night.

Then Saturday.

I was already kind of in a bad mood, having woken up at 10:00am that morning & being unable to sleep the rest of the day. My demanding social life kept me in bed until about 5:00, when I went to get some dinner (where I saw a midget. So creepy!) & went shopping for some new clothes. I also got some dericious Starbucks. On top of my inability to sleep late now, I apparently have lost my sense of time, seeing as how I showed up for work about 20 minutes early. Once I clocked in I went up to check on one of my favorite clients who had been on a leave of absence for a few days. He's borderline retarded (fetal alcohol syndrome), so he's somewhat difficult to work with. He leaned back in his char (I swear....) & his cell phone fell out of his pocket. I tried to confiscate it, which was difficult, & he demanded to go with me to watch me put it in the safe.

While we were in the office & I was putting the phone away, he started drinking my Starbucks. Now, I have no problem drinking after my friends, but there are way too many clients that have Hepatitis C in that joint (get it. Joint? Rehab? Oh, I slay me) for me to risk it. Then he & Frankenstein (the client who hit his head a few weeks ago) began to make fun of my shoes. And asking if I waxed my eyebrows. And making fun of my sideburns & calling me Sideburns. I didn't really respond because frankly, it wasn't worth it. The male clients wouldn't listen, kept going into apartments they weren't supposed to, & were generally just not listening.

Now let me remind you, my usual partner wasn't there. Instead, my new supervisor was there until midnight when another lady was going to show up. So my supervisor is observing all of this happening (when she wasn't chilling in the office) & not helping at all, except to ask occasionally where I was when people weren't where they should be (& I'd respond that I had told them what they needed to do).

So I go & begin making my notes for the shift, stating that the clients were horrible when I got there (meaning they were horrible once I got there but were fine upon arrival) & that the fetal alcohol baby hadn't been properly searched. I got in trouble for both of these things. I was told that the clients weren't horrible upon arrival & it wasn't until later they started acting up & that because I said that kid wasn't properly searched, the co-worker who was supposed to do it is going to get in trouble.

Seriously?

I told her that wasn't my problem & he should have been doing his job (also thinking that I never had anyone trying to protect me). Supervisor told me that they had to rush to a meeting so that's probably why the phone wasn't taken. I told her it didn't matter. You know that if it had been me, I probably would have been fired or cussed out. Anyway, midnight FINALLY comes & my supervisor is about to leave. But before she leaves, she tells me that the clients take me for a joke & have no respect for me. I told her that frankly, I don't know what they want from me because if I don't do much of anything, I'm accused of being a push-over & if I do, I'm accused of playing into their bullshit. She essentially said that she was listening to most everything that happened earlier & basically I had handled everything wrong. I told her that I can handle myself & if the clients get an attitude with me I can get an attitude back & defend myself. That led to a conversation about how I can't, if I do I can be easily replaced because the clients pay so much money (which I countered by saying that they can also be easily replaced because if they leave, there will be another client waiting to take their spot), & maybe this isn't what I should be doing. Also, all of this is taking place in front of my co-worker.

Now, I didn't get fired. I really don't have a problem with this supervisor. She wasn't rude. She was just telling it like it is. After she left, I checked the property, told my co-worker I couldn't function anymore, & slept about 5 hours.

I swear.........

Love Chunks, 2010-2010

I just received word from my partner on my overnight shifts that Love Chunks has indeed been fired.

I barely knew her...

Tanning

I went to lay out by the pool a little while ago in preparation for the visit from my friend Robyn & his girlfriend Sarah in two weeks. They're basically only coming to go to the beach (they live in Ohio) so I know I'm going to be outside a lot, therefore I will be burning. Go ahead & try to get dark now so it won't be a big deal when I'm doing whatever it is I will be doing.

I've already warned him that I don't really have friends here, I don't really do anything, & I don't really know where anything is so not to expect much. I don't even feel that bad because we would go months without talking before & then as soon as I moved to Florida he started calling me about once a month & planning a visit. Duh, Robyn...

Also, Operation: Maybe Moving Back To North Carolina is still in effect. Planning on visiting sometime in July/August to look at apartments with Sam & also scope out the job possibilities. I'd say I'm about 60% positive I'll be moving back for about a year.

My Very Own Unabomber & More

This weekend was quite eventful, to put it mildly (I have got to get more going on to talk about about besides this stupid job & my depression).

Saturday: Things started off relatively calm. Some clients apparently told my weekend supervisor that I gave them a phone when it had gotten taken away from them (I didn't) so she confronted me but I plead my innocence (either way I didn't care). One of the new guys decided it would be a splendid idea to slide down the damn stair railing, causing me to almost have a heart attack.

Some of the younger clients who I've gotten along with very well (including Frankenstein, the head-injury from last week) were acting weird & not listening (that wasn't weird). One of them asked me "hypothetically" what would happen if someone were to leave the site for about an hour. And they were just acting like they were planning something. Well, while my partner & I were watching a TV show on my laptop around 2:30am, I happened to see at least 2 guys crouching below the bushes outside our office.

Damn it.

My partner & I went out the front, but they had already gone back up to the 2nd level where they belonged. We did checks & ultimately they confessed to me that they were "trying to scare" us, which is utter bullshit.

Also, Friday there was what sounded like an explosion, but we figured it was something off-site. Turns out it wasn't. A younger client who I have a good relationship with told me Saturday night that yet another younger client (who I didn't know well but never gave me problems & I actually liked quite a bit) had gotten some steaks from his mom & made a mini-bomb with that, water, & a bottle, & threw it into the pool area. I was told this because the 1st guy didn't like the Unabomber, as we affectionately referred to him. My partner & I went looking for it, & found the half-exploded bottle in the garbage. Damn.

Sunday: Most of the excitement happened on Friday & Saturday, but the clients would not go to bed! Stubborn douches.

Ultimately the Unabomber got kicked out, & while I know he totally did it to himself, I still feel bad for playing a part in it. When I left Monday morning I said goodbye to him (having conveniently gotten to know him better this weekend) knowing that it was probably what was going to happen (he had no idea we knew) & he said, "Hopefully I'll see you next weekend!" I was just like, "Hopefully..." The clincher was that the guy who ratted him out? Was standing right there talking to him, too. Two-faced bastards.

Three Random Things

1. As I was driving to work yesterday, I had to stop & get gas. This white van pulled up & a guy jumped out & shook my hand. He then began to try to sell me some wireless satellite thing. I told him I didn't have time, needing to go to work. He kept going on. I told him I wasn't interested. He kept going on. I AGAIN told him I needed to get to work. He kept going on. I told him I didn't have the money. He told me they'd drive me (!) to an ATM (!!) & I could get the money. I then combined that I needed to get to work & wasn't interested.

Then he & his friend got pissed. They kind of yelled at me, & the main guy told me I'd never get a girl if I didn't have this piece of equipment. I shrugged my shoulders & told him, "Such is life."

Seriously though. How much does our world suck where people would say something like that? A piece of property shouldn't factor in whether we find a mate or an easy lay. And more than likely, that particular electronic device wouldn't, because it was kind of dumb.

And yeah, I definitely thought I was going to get abducted, which is whatever. That would just be such a stupid way to go.

2. Last night at the A.A. meeting I took the clients to, I was sitting outside reading a textbook. This guy came up & told me his brother was the author of the book. He then said that his other brother was the reason he didn't have any teeth up front, after a hockey lesson as a child. And how he works as a consultant. And how he is manic depressive but doesn't take medication. And how he is related to the Kennedy family. I told him I needed to go inside because I was getting eaten by mosquito's.

I would also like to add that he had a mullet (of course), was incredibly dirty (he shook my hand. Twice), & one shoe was of the tennis variety, while the other was a Croc.

3. When I took that client to the hospital Wednesday, I passed these black girls who started hollering at me. I laughed & shrugged them off. I passed them again on the way out & they said that I looked like Edward Cullen.

Clearly, we look nothing alike. Sometimes my hair looks like his (I was doing that before the movie came out) but that's the extent of it. And I was wearing a ratty shirt & sweatpants.

Idiots.

P.S. I could have just used one picture to prove my point, but I love uploading.

Friday

Friday I worked my normal shift of 4pm-midnight. Homeboy who was coming off of heroin was doing worse, not being able to keep anything down. At one point, all 3 of my coworkers for the shift were off-site, meaning that of course this guy was going to take a turn for the worse. I took his blood pressure & it was 131/95 & his pulse was 55, which was weird. I called one of my co-workers, who tried to get in touch with the detox nurse (who sucks) & couldn't, so she called Love Chunks. Love Chunks decided that he needed to go the hospital, which was a problem because I couldn't leave the site with the other clients there by themselves. Luckily 2 of my coworkers came back & he got the hospital.

I also did a drug test on a new client, did an intake, & really took charge of shit.

I've heard rumblings that there will be a lot of changes coming up, like Love Chunks being fired, other people being fired, shifts being rearranged, a new location opening up, my Saturday/Sunday night partner being asked to pick someone to be her partner for later (she picked me). It's all weird. I want to quit so bad but I just have to hold on & see what happens. Maybe I will be able to get better shifts that are more conducive to trying to make friends & having a social life.

Thursday

On Thursday the lady I was working with & I were mondo pissed because we were told by Love Chunks to clean an empty apartment, despite the fact that they had 2 days previously to clean it, & the cleaning lady (who also works as a C.A.) was just there, & the last shift featured two male C.A.'s in said apartment watching the Lakers/Celtics game.

So my partner for the night (I'm such a slut) & I start cleaning. We also have to keep an eye on a new client who was detoxing off of heroin. We were told to check his blood pressure every hour, which I did first. When it was time for his second round, my partner did it & inadvertently said something to make him mad, causing him to rip the cuff off his arm & throw it on the ground (I didn't see this. I was in the apartment cleaning). He also kept mumbling. So we called Love Chunks who told us to just check on him & make sure he was breathing throughout the night.

And that was the shift that sent me into overtime this week. Holla!

Wednesday

I was asked to fill in for a co-worker this week since I would get overtime & I'm nothing if not money-hungry. Of course, this happened to be overnight shifts, but once I worked them they weren't that bad. In fact, if I could JUST work the midnight-8am shift, I would be perfectly content.

On Wednesday (shift 1) I had to take a client to the hospital. We have referral sheets that they have to give the receptionist saying they can't be given narcotics because they're in rehab. I dropped him off, parked, & went in to make sure he was ok. Things didn't seem right so after he got called back into triage I asked the receptionist if he gave her the referral sheet. Which she said he didn't. Great.

4 1/2 hours pass & I haven't heard jack from him so I went back to the hospital to check. The ER doesn't know where he is. Shit. I start to panic & call Love Chunks, who tells me to double check with them if he could be anywhere. I figured with HIPAA laws they couldn't tell me, but apparently since I work at a rehab I'm privy to such information. I remembered that I had his face-sheet (a sheet with his basic info that would allow the nurses to search for him in the computer system) so they were quickly able to find him. It wasn't visiting hours so I got the hospital phone number, his bed number, & called his nurse to give him the message that we knew he was there.

And I was told I did a good job by Love Chunks. Holla!

I Used To Be Stupid

I had a submission I...submitted to IUsedToBeStupid.com. Give it a looksee, k?

I will post more stories like this later. I have quite a few.

Head Banger

Around 2am this morning a client who I had already told to go to his apartment was leaning back in his chair (after I had told him to stop numerous times) & fell & hit his head. Another client was out there with him & got my partner & myself. Our weekend supervisor told my partner to take him to the hospital & to leave me behind, so I was blessed with the opportunity to clean up the blood. It wasn't that bad, but still...I don't know how they expect me to get better at this job when they won't let me do anything. Up until I demanded to pick him up, I hadn't been to the hospital. I don't know where any of the locations that we're supposed to take them are. And I'm waiting for the shit to hit the fan because they were up so late even though I had told them to go inside.

On a good note, the client is fine. He had to get 5 staples in the back of his head, but otherwise was good. He was even joking about how stupid he was after it happened.

Humorous

I find it funny that after working at my job for 2 months & thinking I was getting fired for the past month & a half, I have survived & outlasted so many other people. At least 7 people that I can think of right now have quit/been fired in the past 2 months, yet I keep trucking along like a cockroach or that contestant on "Survivor" who despite the odds never gets voted out.

Apparently 3 more people are getting fired next week: 2 of them work with my on Friday nights & the other being Love Chunks. I also find it funny how in practically every job I've ever worked, regardless of my competency or how much I perceive how much I'm liked, I work myself into a position of knowledge. I always find out things that are shaping up before they are announced. Now we'll just have to wait & see if these firings actually take place.

Tonight was a slow night. The only exciting things that happened were me backing one of the vans into an iron fence at the Narcotic's Anonymous meeting (minus clients) without any damage befalling the van (the fence wasn't so lucky) & one of the girls attempting suicide while the guys were at their meeting. When my partner for the night & I found out, we drove the guys back very slowly so they wouldn't be around when the cops were still there. Homegirl got Baker Acted, too. Dem's is da breaks.

Uh Oh

Drunk. Just kinda. But drunk. By myself. In my bed. Listening to podcasts.

I love beer.

I wish it didn't make me pee as much as it does.

My Mission

It has come to my attention recently (but not for the first time) that I really am not interested in anything. All I do is exist, basically. No hobbies. Nothing. My life consists of school, work, school work, sleeping, internetting, moping, & the occasional reading for pleasure.

My mission: find out what I like to do. Besides talking, because I love that. Find some hobbies. Develop some interests. And who knows, maybe I will get some direction for my life through this.

I've also decided to limit communication with my parents for a while. I definitely think it's the best thing for right now. Besides, if I don't initiate with my dad I won't talk to him for ages & my mom is pretty hit or miss. I just don't need their special brand of "support" right now.

Over The Weekend

Work this weekend was kinda nuts. Nothing of major consequence happened Friday except 2 of the guys were basically requiring a staff member full-time to monitor them since they will not follow the rules. An extra obstacle was also added to the saga of my van driving: rain. And I conquered.

Saturday was weird. I got called in early because the new guy from last weekend got fired for cussing out a client & making a motion like he was jacking off to him. So I ended up working 16 hours on Saturday. The same 2 guys were acting like fools (both are in my age range) & I just got so fed up with them that I just stopped. I did what I needed to do but I'm not getting paid to chase around 2 grown-ass men who refuse to listen.

Sunday...I was already kind of an emotional wreck from some other stuff & find out that my normal partner isn't coming so I'm getting this guy who had already worked 12 hours. I'm starving so I order Chinese food delivery. The delivery guy is an r-tard & is on the phone with me for 18 minutes trying to figure out where my location is. All of this is happening while I'm trying to give the detox clients their meds & talk on the Nextel with my co-worker who is coming in & wants to talk to my supervisor who won't talk to him because he was a jerk to her earlier. So I eventually said, "Fuck it" & handed my phone to a client & told her to tell the guy how to get there. 10 minutes later I finally get my Chinese food.

My co-worker comes in & is mad that I ignored some of his calls, which I explained to no avail. He then went outside & sat outside an apartment & watched TV through an open door, letting the clients do whatever they want. Then he & a client get in a fight & the client comes in to the office crazy pissed because he said my co-worker slammed his fingers in the dryer & tried to turn the other clients against him. I'm just listening to him while giving him his meds & not saying anything one way or the other when my co-worker comes in & they start going at it. I'm just there wishing I could be anywhere else, realizing that I've heard more intelligent fights on MTV. The client was eventually placated & all was good. My co-worker then went to sleep in an apartment while I slept in an office.

Tonight we had a Counselor Assistant staff meeting where nothing constructive was really reached. It seems like everyone hates everyone else, basically. And it seemed like Love Chunks kept looking at me when she was talking about what was going wrong. Then after the meeting I went with my weekend supervisor & normal partner to Applebee's & got some drinks where I was informed by my supervisor that the guy who hired me (who happens to be the maintenance guy) actually didn't want to hire me but did because his boss is friends with one of my professors. He told my supervisor this when she ran in to him at a bar & he was high on coke & drunk as a skunk. Part of me wants to say, "Fuck it" even more but the more spiteful part of me wants to stay & prove their expectations wrong.

On the plus side, I played Mario Kart 64 tonight.

Drugs

So the new guy at work already got fired. No one liked him & he was really rude to the clients. Yesterday while a client was trying to talk to him about his life, my co-worker told him that he was above him & didn't need to listen to him. This turned into a big argument with screaming, cussing, & eventually my co-worker making a gesture as if he was masturbatin'. One of the head people happened to be there, saw it, told the supervisor who called the head supervisor ("Love Chunks", as the clients respectfully refer to her) & he was promptly sent home. I was called in & worked 16 hours last night.

For the most part it went well, aside from 2 guys absolutely refusing to listen to me. They keep wandering around into other peoples' apartments & wearing sleeveless shirts or no shirts at all. Of course last night one guy had 4 of his Trazadone pills stolen, so I'm sure shit is gonna hit the fan regarding that.

And I have a bit of a neck cramp from sleeping on the floor with only my outer shirt as a pillow :(

Tattoo

I went to Target yesterday to buy a few things (such as a new electric razor, seeing as my current one is about 3+ years old & pulls the hair out of my face) when I saw this woman wearing a tank-top who had possibly the nastiest looking back tattoo I'd ever seen (not a tramp stamp). While silently judging her I got a better look.

Not a tattoo.

Definitely a birthmark.

And I am an asshole.

Something New

Today I begin the search for schools where I might begin my nursing adventure. I talked to one of my professors last night & she thinks it's a great idea. She then followed that up by saying that she wasn't doing her job well because she should be encouraging me to stay.

She really helped put things into perspective by reminding me how I'm still young & have time to go off on all of these different excursions before I finally settle down. I'm just worried that I'll end up like my dad, 52 & going back to school for a new career after the past bazillion didn't work out.

Ugh. Life was so much more simple when I was home schooled & was never around anyone.

On another note, I've heard rumblings that I might be moved to working Saturday & Sunday day shift (8am-8pm). I'm pretty apathetic towards it, but now that I might be moving later this summer I don't really care what happens at this job.

Oh yeah! On yet another note, I finally paid off my credit card! Thank God. Seriously.