Friday, October 30, 2009

Oh, My Giant

You can pretty much tell from the title that dis post is gonna be goooood. And honestly, I'm not concerned about formatting, spelling, grammar, & the like because I stayed up all night watching "Degrassi: The Next Generation" to numb the irritation of the evening, I have a job interview today, I have had 2 cold sores for the past 2 weeks, & I have a shit-ton of reading to do.

So, My Giant has been a pain in the ass. Be it him coming to my room, always gently rapping on my door & then coming in, talking at me about his day & all it entailed. Then he leaves. Occasionally he'll ask me how I'm doing. Then there's also the issue of him wanting to use my credit card in exchange for cash so he can buy protein powder online (I laughed at him & said no). And then there's the time he wouldn't stop harrassing me about giving him a shoulder massage & calling me a homophobe because I didn't want to. Then I finally did give him one until my fingers hurt. He followed that up by asking me if I would take some DVD's to the library for him since I was headed that way, while he ran over to the gym. I say it's fine, but when I get there, none other than My Giant is sitting next to the glass wall that separates the coffee shop & the library. Then while I'm checking out my book, he comes up behind me & puts me in a head lock (I told him to stop touching me).

Oh yeah, he also wants me to cash a check for him for $800 because he can't open a bank own here since his ex-wife left him in debt. How he thinks he'd be able to write me a check for that much & have it clear without actually having an account is beyond me. And probably beyond him, too. He also wants me to buy furniture with him, but I refuse since I basically live in my room & have no interest in furniture. The other morning he came in to wake me up so I could take him to the bank. I told him to leave me alone & went back to sleep.

I'm not even gonna touch on him talking to me about condoms. But I will say that I did give him a minor smackdown at his comments that I wasn't well endowed.

So, that brings us to last night. He comes to my room, talking at me about his day per usual, & asks me I need anything from Wal-Mart. I refused initially until I remembered that I did need some drinks, so we go & he begins telling me some long-winded story (somewhat like this one) & eventually ends up taking almost an hour & a half to tell because he keeps stopping. We get to Wal-Mart & immediately people start asking him how tall he is. He gives his patented, witty response of "6'14'" & I give an exasperrated sigh & say, "He's 7'2"." Like seriously, I have to feel bad for him because people are so rude to him, treating him like he's a freak (he is, but you still shouldn't do that).

He kept leaving the cart in the middle of the aisles & would walk off, blocking the way for other people to walk. I told him to stop (I was tired of moving it) & he said, "It's ok. No one is going to take it." Not shocked at the fact that he didn't get it, I said, "Yeah, it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with the fact that it's rude because it blocks the way for people to walk." Guess what. No response. At all. Like talking to a wall, My Giant. This happened quite a few times. Oh yeah, & every single time I would start talking about something that had nothing to do with him, he wouldn't respond. It was like I didn't even speak.

Then, we get to the check-out line. The girl was a bitch & thought my I.D. was fake (I bought some $4 wine. I gotta keep it classy) & I knew that with her attitude, My Giant, & my mood, we were in some trouble. She asked him how tall he was, he said his spiel, I told her the truth about how tall he was, & she asked him, "Why do you have to say it like that?" Yup, I knew trouble would occur. He said something along the lines of, "I dunno. I guess I just like to liven things up with people who having boring personalities." Shit. I can tell by the look on her face this isn't gonna go well. He gets ready to speak again & I snap at him, "STOP!" Awkward.

Clueless, he asked me what I was going as for Halloween. I told him I was gonna make a lame costume on purpose & he asked if I was going as myself. I said monotonely, "Oh, you're good." And to round up all of this, we ended the night by talking about his first blow job, that he got by a fat girl who was dating his best friend. And the best friend was there when it happened. I wish I could make this shit up.

On another topic (but kinda not), he hasn't washed the dishes in about a month & a half. To cover up the smell of rotting food he placed a garbage bag over the sink. I've had to move all my dishes that he didn't use & not wash to my closet. And my coffee maker is under my bathroom sink because he can't even use that correctly. If he hasn't washed the dishes by Monday, I'm going to Residence Life.


Andrew said...

Wow. That was a very long post.

Anonymous said...

Yes it was...sheewy you're going through alot. And pleeeeeeeeeease go to residence life so they can deal with it - you shouldn't have to put up with that shit anymore.

Rebecca J-G said...

Now as you look back on this, from the future (aren't Blogs cool like that?), I'm sure you are tickled pink that this is all behind you. I'm glad I wasn't reading this blog in real time. I'm afraid I would've had to take a road trip to Florida and pull a David on that Goliath--and I didn't even love you that much then!