Reading the DSM-IV for class while at work the other night. FML.

My legs & feet whilst I read for class at work. Enthralling, no?

Push-Over

I was told at work by one of the clients that I am considered a push-over. This doesn't surprise me, but it irritated the hell out of me. I don't know why I'm considered to be a push-over. I enjoy pissing people off too much. This more than likely stems from the fact that I come from a school of thought where you attract flies with honey, & the residents at the rehab aren't going to listen to you if you're a dick right out of the gate. I tell them what I need them to do, give them a bit, go back, give them a bit longer, then I start pestering more.

I'm just tired of the push-over label I have.

And I'm tired of people treating me like I'm stupid pretty much all the time. Twat-heads, I had a 4.0 GPA this semester & a 3.9 GPA overall for grad school. I was Valedictorian of my high school after only attending for one year & being home schooled up until then. I know there's a difference between book-smarts & street-smarts, but I think I have more street-smarts (common sense) than people give me credit for. And just because I may have difficulty doing simple arithmetic in my head from time to time doesn't mean jack! But seriously, if it isn't school related, people completely disregard what I have to say the vast majority of the time.

On a happier note, one of my co-workers was sporting a camel toe tonight. I loved it.

On a funnier note, while driving from an AA meeting tonight in that horrendous van, I totally ran a red light. The guy I was following made it under, I stopped, said, "Fuck it!" (literally) & just went under despite traffic. I hate driving that van & the less amount of time in it the better.

Oy!

I decided I didn't want to live with those guys I didn't know & share a bedroom, & thankfully one of my classmates asked me Tuesday if I needed a roommate. How convenient? We've been apartment-hunting since Wednesday & it's been crazy stressful. We have found some great places but either the timing is bad (we wouldn't be able to move in until after I have to move out) or the price is ridiculous. We found some places where the price wasn't too astronomical but there was a very good reason for that. There was an awesome condo we would be subletting but the guy we'd be subletting it from seemed kind of sketchy.

This morning, however, we might very well have found the perfect place. Very reasonably priced, a seemingly safe area, & decent sized. The only negative is no washing machine or dryer in the apartment & only 1 bathroom. We will probably take that.

My Giant is still wanting to live with me. He came a'calling last night to tell me about this condo he wants to rent. I asked him if he thought it would be a good idea for us to live together again, to which he responded by saying his only beef with me was that I was a hermit & proceeded to apologize for being selfish with not cleaning up anything. Then he told me about his life & asked me to go clubbing with him. I had nothing better to do & I wanted to see if things would be different to I agreed.

But first, I played Mario Kart 64. Then we went to this hookah club where he danced like a doofus (I can't even describe it) & I messed around on my phone. Then we went to another place where he danced & I messed on my phone. Then we ran into that fetish kid who used to live with My Giant. And some drag queens. And some random people we both know. And a man of questionable intelligence & sobriety. And then we went to another club where My Giant used to work & sweet bejeesus, he cannot dance at all. It took everything in my power to not stare/laugh at him. I ended up sitting on a bench/sofa thing near the door for about an hour or more, occasionally fighting off My Giant trying to pull me onto the dance floor. I was waiting/hoping that this guy we knew & had run into earlier was going to take me to a bar like he said he would but he left without my knowing because his group was too drunk.

The fetish kid apparently has built a model of a 1930's convertible that he drives around, so My Giant wanted me to drive his convertible (ha!) back from the student center but I walked because I hate driving others' cars.

He just came over while I was writing this to ask if I still wanted to move in with him. I told him I had probably already found a place & he looked like I had crushed him. Dejected, he lumbered back to his apartment. As my mother says, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And I was not going to get fooled again. Though I kind of want to bring him in as our 3rd so our rent would be cheaper...

I also stepped in puke in the bathroom. It was around this time I thought to myself, "Self, you had been in your pajamas & almost ready for bed. How did you end up here?" And on a Thursday, too.

As an aside, that guy that's been crashing at my mom's house since DECEMBER told her that I drink, which means someone's been creeping on my Facebook or on here. Screw him.

Well whadaya know?

Today I got the official word that the school isn't renewing the contract with the apartment I live in & have to be moved out by May 15th. This pissed me off & when I get pissed, I get pro-active. So I called the number of a potential apartment place & asked if they still have room. And they did! So I went & checked it out.

This all happened in the span of about an hour.

So I was almost homeless in two weeks for about an hour.

The apartment itself isn't spectacular but it's nice enough. Great location (right across from Barnes & Noble & the sushi place I love. I could literally throw something from my balcony & hit Barnes & Noble). Less than 10 minutes walking to school. Only $435 a month which is GREAT for West Palm Beach. Only downside is...I have to share a bedroom because there will be 3 other guys living there. But for the price, location, & the desperation I feel, that's awesome. Plus it will get me around people more & maybe I can make more friends.

Also feeling the desperation? My Giant. He started talking to me today while I was walking on campus (& talking to my dad on the phone. Rude) about how he found a 1 bedroom/1 loft place about 10 minutes away from school for $499. I wonder who would get stuck with the loft...

Though it might would be a better decision space-wise, I cannot with good conscience live with him again. And does he not remember last semester at all? Did he forget about how he ASKED RESIDENCE LIFE TO MOVE ME OUT?!

So what did I do? I told him to talk to me about it later. I'm a dumbass.

Because of course

I almost literally lost my damn mind today whilst driving back from Toccoa to West Palm Beach. I couldn't sleep last night & knew I wouldn't be able to because I always have a hard time sleeping before driving a long distance so I left at 2:45am (just like my trip to Toccoa). Only this time I almost went crazy.

Now usually when I am travelling the wonderful highways that connect West Palm & Toccoa for 12 hours I phase out some. But today it was beyond that. I actually thought a palm tree was a person at one point. I couldn't concentrate. I was tingly. I was nauseous. And when I stopped at Cracker Barrel & they were still serving breakfast I wanted to cry.

Once I made it to about an hour away, I was finally able to get in touch with my mom & talk to her some to keep me somewhat conscious (because talking on the phone is so much better than falling asleep & thinking pieces of nature are humans). I start unloading my car & who is the first person I should encounter?

My Giant, of course.

Because of course.

He started talking to me about how they probably are going to kick us out of the apartments but if they don't or if they require us to have roommates he is offering me my old room back.

Was he even present for all of last semester? Does he not remember how we could barely be civil to each other? Does he not remember that he tried to get me kicked out of my room & into another apartment?

Anyway, I told him that if they try to make me move into a dorm I'm just going to get my own place with my loan money. He seemed to have a hard time computing what I was saying, or maybe it was just me because I was so fracking exhausted.

Decisions, decisions...

My plan going into Graduate school was to just get a straight-up degree in Counseling Psychology. I was (& still am) sick of school & wanted out as fast as possible with the least amount of work. Then I became interested in working in Addictions counseling. So then I decided I was going to dual-track degrees in Addictions & my original Mental Health degree.

Then today I was asked by one of my professors to join an independent study class on Marriage & Family counseling. By taking this class along with another class I am required to take, I will have a degree in Marriage & Family Counseling. My professor told me I can't tell anyone else in the program about being asked because she's being so selective in her invitations. So I'm kind of proud of myself for that.

So there is a good possibility I will have 3 degrees by the time this whole ordeal is over.

Bad news is I don't know if I want to do the work for it over the summer on top of my other summer classes. But since it's independent study I can go at my own speed & even take an Incomplete to finish the rest of the class in-between my summer classes (which end July 1) & my fall classes (which begin August 30).

So I dunno...