TeeHee

My job is holding a drawing class where for $30 you can learn to draw this slightly complicated-looking coffee cup. My co-worker (who will be going to art school) tried to draw it but for some reason wasn't able to finish it at the same time as the rest of the picture, so there were these arrows pointing to a blank space. I took it upon myself to add the stick figure (which I have since erased, because I am nothing if not professional).

It was funny to us, anyway...

New Posts Are Coming

Remember back in the day when I posted on here semi-regularly? Well, those days are coming because my current situation is about to be over.

I seriously have so much to write about that I'm expecting to do about 3 or 4 in a row.

For Your Information...

I know I haven't updated at all this week. Just be prepared that you are about to be bombarded with quite a few posts in the next day/few days.

Not Much Of Anything...

Shut up, Dr. Ken!

Seriously!

A Piece Of Lent

So, to those of you not versed in the Christian tradition, we are now at the beginning of Lent. What is Lent, you may ask? Well...that's a good question.

Having grown up the son of a Methodist minister, I always remembered hearing it mentioned but because I was so young I never participated in any of the "festivities." Those festivities being the sacrificing of crap for Adult Jesus.

Once my parents & I started attending more...charismatic churches (not Pentecostal Holiness. No one pretended to be an animal & not everyone prayed in tongues) it wasn't mentioned as much. Then I went to Toccoa & it was mentioned a lot more (but I didn't sacrifice anything because screw that).

Then last year when I was in college, it seemed like everyone & their mother (not my mother though) gave up something for the 40 days leading to Easter. Not me, though! But that is a thing of the past.

This year, I have decided to "celebrate" Lent. So for the next 40 days, I am giving up cussing.

Yes, that's right.

Katie is giving up chocolate (& possibly white bread). Most people give up food items, electronic stuff, & that kind of junk. But not me! I'm taming my tongue (that's what she said).

The reason for this is primarily because I cuss way too much. I think it makes me sound uneducated & ignorant. That isn't to say that I'm against cussing. Far from it! I think it's hilarious when people cuss. But this is just something I myself need to rein in. This has been something I've been meaning to do for a while now, so by piggy-backing it with this hot mess, it might make it easier since everyone will be miserable at the same time.

A guy from my small group (sort of?) is joining me in this endeavor. I had a successful first day, but he did not. Go me! I told him that we are allowed to cuss if they're song lyrics. We are also allowed to cuss in another language because English is the official language of God & the only one He respects.

Why do I have a bad feeling this won't last long at all?

Edit: So, I was having my friend David read this as soon as I posted it. He noticed a typo. Guess what I did? Well, let's have the screen capture tell the story...

...................it's going to be a long Lent, folks.

The Story Of My Move

Remember back when I was living with Skidmark? And remember that time I moved with little fanfare? Well, here is the story of the move. There really isn't much to report but I figure that since my time living in The Porn Nexus (t.m. Caleb) was a bit epic that I need to at least include the resolution.

After toying with the idea of moving since about a month after I moved in with Le Skidmark, I had started to actively pursue housing leads. I had checked out a place in December that was less than a mile from my job. It was with a guy from my church (who I had never met but I knew people who knew him), & it was pretty nice. I was just incredibly hesitant to accept it because I'd be losing a lot of space, it was more expensive, I'd have to actually move, & I wasn't sure I trusted my new roommate. Not that he gave me any reason not to trust him. But just after my past roommate experiences (My Giant, Skidmark, Really Conservative Guy) & life experiences in general (Bi-Sexual Wiccan, Truck Driver, Mexican Stalker, Other Stuff) I had trust issues. Understandably.

Well, after I found the blood splatters on the bathroom mirror (& on the faucet knob) I decided that enough was enough. After dilly-dallying & trying to coordinate everything, I pushed the move up a week.

I wish I could say it was really dramatic, hilarious, or tragic. I really do. Because that isn't as boring as this. But (un)forunately everything went well. Skidmark took the news well, & even had an ad for my replacement on Craigslist the day I told him (replacement has since moved in).

The only thing to note is that I told him that the reason I was moving was because "certain behaviors" made me uncomfortable & that it might be a good idea for him to tell future roommates so they weren't thrown into this whole world without knowing. He apologized for me being uncomfortable. And the day I moved we didn't even say goodbye. We did speak, but I can't remember what all was said. It doesn't matter anyway.

I had to switch out my beds though. The bed I had while living with Skidmark was a full, but my new room would have been a lot more cramped if I had used it. So a switch was made with the bed I had used while living in Toccoa with my dad (a twin). While switching the beds (& dropping off other random items that I didn't need), my mother made a new best friend in Amaris, a girl from my small group. They seriously talked the entire time the guys (including me) were moving the stuff.

So here I am. I've been living here for a month & a half. It's been great so far. I actually spend more time out of my room than I do in it. I have my own bathroom, so any blood to be found has an obvious source (oh wait....).

Another Guest Post

Remember when I had Aubree do that guest post, & then I did a guest post on her blog? Well I also had reader/Facebook friend Caleb do one as well. Granted, it's taken me about a month to post this because daddy's been busy, but never late than never. Take it away, Caleb!

"Recently I’ve been reading about people who get themselves in all sorts of F’ed up situations because they’re trying to be “nice.” (This means you, Andrew) I have an aversion to the term “nice,” but I’m not going to get into that here. Instead, I’m going focus on the part of “nice” where you hear what someone is saying through the filter of best intentions. It’s time for a post about “Creepy people translation.”

To make sure we’re on the same page I’m going to start out with an easy one. Picture, if you will, an old guy in a van leaning out the window to offer you free candy if you’ll just hop inside with him. He is probably down to a handful of teeth, wearing a ragged hat, and perhaps overalls with no shirt underneath.

He says “I will give you some free candy if you come over here to the inside of my van!”

You think “Hmm… he probably has a driver’s license, so he’s safe. And I DO like candy…”

He means “I need a lampshade and your skin looks conducive to light.”

Obviously this isn’t a good idea, right? Is it “nice” of you to not go to his van? Probably not. So f*ck “nice.”

Next up: you’re a girl, on a dating site, and a guy has just “winked” at you and sent you a message. He has a picture of himself with his shirt off, backwards hat, and glasses. Essentially his message is “hey gurl u so fiiine- lets hook up soon.” You brush this one off, but he keeps sending more all the time (cuz he’s a creeper). Eventually, you may decide to take him up. Here’s the translation:

He says ”I find you attractive and we should meet.”

You think ”Gosh, maybe I’m being close-minded. He might be a decent guy and I’m not giving him a shot. Plus, maybe he’s kind of cute in real life.”

He means “I’m trying to bang 50 hoes this week and you look like a great #46. I will wear you down over time and then roofie you into my bed. PS see my sweet shades?”

If any part of you thinks that this guy isn’t a weirdo who will harass you incessantly, I know a prince in Jordan who is trying to get a few million gold bars out of the country.

Next: you’re working somewhere and a customer is spending a lot of time talking to you. They’re asking personal questions, they’re kind of [older, weird looking, homeless-y, etc.] and you’re not quite comfortable. Inevitably they ask for your contact info. You consider giving it to them. Tranlation:

They say “I’m really interested in you as a unique person! You should tell me more about yourself, then give me your number and facebook info so that we can continue this fascinating discussion.”

You think “They seem… nice. It doesn’t hurt to talk to them I guess. I’ll just give them my Facebook stuff and not accept their friend request. I don’t want to tell them to bug off cuz that might be mean.

They mean: “I’m going to keep asking you crap about yourself to keep you talking long enough that you’ll give me your information. Then, I’m probably going to stalk you. Maybe I’ll get to take you out to the back of my car, but at the least I’ll be able to text-bomb you for weeks or even months!”

Hopefully you’re starting to see a pattern here. If not, I have one last counter-example for you, and maybe it will help illustrate things:

You’re a small child in the cold of winter. A large man in an oversized outfit and a long beard is beckoning for you to sit on his lap and confess your desires. Your parents urge you forward.

He says “Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Come sit on my lap and tell me what you want this year!”

You think “Hmm… mom said to avoid strangers, but he seems pretty cool. And merry.”

He means “I’m getting $100 bucks to be cheerful and listen to you snot nosed punks tell me of your greed. Hurry up.”

This situation? Totally okay. Seriously- Santa is good shit.

Well I hope this helped clear a few things up for you folks. If I can keep even one person from getting into a trucker’s cab after working at the theater all night, I’ll have done my job.

Thanks Andrew!"

You're welcome, Caleb.