Tuesday, February 15, 2011

That Time My Lungs Were Destroyed For A Little Over Minimum Wage

I've tried to make it a habit recently not to talk about work anymore since I was reprimanded for saying something negative about a product on Facebook in October. The company has taken the stance that any negative talk about a policy, product, customer, or employee will result in termination. But honestly, today was such bull that I can't help it.

Our district manager is a Dingleberry (I've nicknamed him that, too). He is under the impression that everything should be cleaned all the time & we should never stop moving. This on top of the fact that we don't get breaks (illegal!). So he was there today, spreading his charm, & we kept getting cleaning assignments. I got stuck deck brushing all of the tile floor (a huge undertaking) & eventually ended up hurting my back & shoulders, as well as inhaling a copious amount of 409. I went to the back later & was given a new assignment: cleaning the mop bucket. Yes.

I was instructed to spray the 409 onto the mop bucket, take a scrubby sponge, & clean the mop bucket. In all fairness, it was disgusting, but seriously. It's a mop bucket. People expect disgusting from it. So I'm stuck in the back, sitting on the floor, wearing those yellow dish gloves. There is no ventilation back there & we aren't allowed to open any of the doors back there, so the 409 was really starting to get to me. On top of all of that, my OCD was kicking in & I never wanted to stop. It would never be clean enough. Ever. EVER!

Eventually my shift supervisor commanded that I stop because she was worried about my health, seeing as my face was apparently starting to turn a funny color due to the chemicals. As soon as Dingleberry left, my manager & I loosened up & we started inventing drinks & having fun. We continued to clean some, but the urgency dissipated.

I am the World's Most Unhappy Barista.

P.S. I already have had a hard time getting rid of the cough from my sickness a few weeks ago but it's been ridiculous today. Just constant hacking, gagging, dry heaving.


Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I think that 409 will help knock that cough loose. Ultimately, it will be good for you.

That boss sounds like a real knob. Make a special drink for him, perhaps with a spash of 409 in there.

Caleb said...

Sorry dude. F*ck Dingleberry. Remind him that's it's just F*CKING COFFEE.

Seriously. It's coffee.

Andrew said...

The funny thing is that Dingleberry will even tell you that it's just coffee. He obviously is a hypocrite on a power trip. He is also infertile, so maybe he feels like less of a man & uses work as a way of proving himself.