Monday, June 20, 2011

Slimeball

Yesterday, I went to my grandma's church. This wouldn't be a big deal except that her pastor is the same pastor from this story. In case you don't want to read about the debacle of my grandfather's death, let me refresh you: the pastor basically turned the funeral into an alter call for people to become saved not just so they could be with Jesus, but so they could also be reunited with my grandfather. He was also just really slimy.

At the service, he was very loud. And just like at the funeral, he coughed the entire time. The most offensive thing he did though was when he was talking about all of the people who needed prayer & he got to two of my great-aunts. Aunt Etta, bless her heart, has had Alzheimer's for a decade at least. And this wonderful pastor said, "And Miss Etta could still use your prayers. She's still hanging on." Well no shit, Sherlock. And she's not going to get better until her body just completely shuts down. Now be respectful of HER CHILDREN, SISTER (my grandmother), nieces, & nephews in the congregation & don't be a twat.

His next attack on my family came when talking about my great-aunt Shirley. I don't even know what's wrong with her except she's in the hospital & probably won't be around much longer. The pastor told everyone, "Yeah, Shirley's in the hospital. Not doing too good. I'm going to visit her tonight." Sigh.

I know I may be blowing this out of proportion, but I just find the way he handles things to be really disrespectful. He also has a terrible comb-over.

On another note, my cousin Jason (not his real name) was arrested Saturday night at a Phish concert. I'm waiting for that magazine with mugshots to come out on Friday & hopefully he'll be in it so he can autograph it. I might as well try to make a crappy situation a little funnier.

4 comments:

f0e55194-87e8-11e0-9d3c-000bcdcb8a73 said...

of course he's a jackass. the comb over alone proves that! oh and this is still aubree i still can't comment right! you should totally make it so you have a pop out box for comments like dr. ken cause i have no problems with those. do ittttttttt.

George said...

This is the same type of guy who did my grandparents and aunts funeral. It angered me a lot. He never mentioned my grandmother at any time and just ran his little revival up there. It's a standard southern funeral.
Arrested at a Phish concert, I wonder what the charge could have been?

Andrew said...

Aubree, I don't know how!

George: Right? Sigh.....

Aubree said...

it looks like you figured it out!

HUZZAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!