Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Furry

Do you guys know what furries are?

These are furries.

Ever since I heard of furries, I've been completely fascinated by them. My first experience with them was while watching "The Shining" when things are going batshit crazy near the end & there are some furries getting/giving head in a room or whatever. Next came an early episode of "CSI" where there was a furry convention. That episode was very enjoyable for me.

To me, furries were like God's little joke. Kind of like kids with red hair & Ross Perot.

Well, my last year in college at Toccoa I got a text from Caitlin asking me if I had seen the kid walking around campus with a tail. She was confused as to what was going on, but I immediately got ridiculously excited.

Could...could there be a real live furry at my conservative Christian college? Was it possible for me to receive a blessing of such magnitude?

Shortly afterward, Alexa texted me about the furry. Yes. I was that lucky. There really was a furry there. The campus was so small that it was now only a matter of time before I crossed paths with him.

The first time I saw him, it was from a distance. I did an actual double-take. Sure enough, there was a guy walking around in an ill-fitting shirt, jeans, ugly sandals, & a tail tied to his waist (I remember the entire outfit because it was so bizarre). After that, I saw him everywhere. Cafeteria? He was there. The dorm? He was there. Chapel? You best believe he was there with that tail blowing carelessly in the breeze behind him.

Word got out that he view this whole furry shtick as his "ministry." He felt that by dressing as one of them it would make it easier to infiltrate their ranks & tell them about Jesus. Because you know, there was such a huge furry population in Toccoa, Georgia. If he wanted to dress like an STD or an inbreed, I could understand that because those are actual epidemics there. Furries? Not so much.

Eventually, the administration told him he couldn't wear his tail to class; he got by this rule by tucking his tail into his jeans. He also continued to not shower, as his friends were also wont to do. Because you know, it takes a lot of time out of your busy schedule of playing video games, Dungeons & Dragons, & planning your next cosplay to shower.

I believe our dear furry friend was only a student at TFC for one year. After that, I graduated but I heard he didn't come back the next year. I wonder what Skidmark would have thought about him...

10 comments:

Penny Lane said...

where can I get me one of those?!?

George said...

This little fetish is beyond me. I remember seeing the CSI show with it and I could swear that I watched a Real Sex or some show on TLC about it.

Andrew said...

I think there might have also been an episode of "True Life" on MTV about it. Who knows. All I know is I love them & their ridiculous antics.

That 20 Something Virgin. said...

i literally have no idea what this is all about, but people in funny outfits make me smile.

luckyyjennyy said...

jesus, the one with the boobs is amaaaazing haha

ClarkKent said...

seriously?
I thought you knew about those two running around in cat costumes in 2005. But maybe you weren't there yet.

I didn't know about anyone trying to wear a tail to class. That is just going a little too far.
Yeah. I don't really get it. But they are interesting to see out and about.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Wowee Zowee.

I remember that seen from "The Shining." WTF? I'd like to read the book to see if it's explained. The thing about Kubrick, is he just made movies that looked cool to him, and he didn't really seem to care if the audience understood what was going on, and that's why he was true original.

Anyway, furries are total freaks, and shit like that cracks me up.

Andrew said...

Clark, I wasn't there then. And I think you might have graduated by the time this treasure trove of dysfunction attended.

Dr. Ken, if I ever make it to your neck of the woods we should try to find some or at least watch a documentary on them. Good times would be had by us.

Caleb said...

Okay... did NOT know this existed. YES! Why haven't I seen one? I want one. Girls at Halloween don't count, right?

"tucked his tail into his jeans..." Epic. I don't think you realize.

Also, how does one dress as an STD?

Andrew said...

To dress as an STD is quite simple. Generally, one must either dress as a redneck or a guido.

I'm glad my story was epic, Caleb. You seriously need to do some research on this crap. I knew you'd like it.