Monday, October 25, 2010

That Time I Could Have Gotten Raped By The Bathroom At Work

At work today we were really slow so I volunteered to do different cleaning activities. As I was about to enter the ladies' bathroom to sweep, this Hispanic gentleman came up to me, smiling. He asked me in very, very broken English & in a very meek voice if I worked there. I told him I did (I did not say anything about the apron, the drive-thru headset, the promotional shirt I was wearing, or the broom & dustpan I was holding). He asked how old I was as he put his hand on my shoulder. 24, I said. He told me I looked very young to have a job & I told him that I get that a lot. Smiling, he told me he was looking for a friend. I ignored that. He asked if I was single (ah shit) & I told him I didn't currently have a girlfriend. He told me his astrological sign & asked for mine. I told him I was Cancer (in more ways that one [I didn't actually say that because he wouldn't understand]). He asked if that was pronounced the same way as the *holds invisible cigarette to his lips*. I told him that yes, it was pronounced the same as the disease. He apologized for looking so dirty. I told him it was fine. At this point I'm thinking....



I'm pretty much cornered in a small hallway, so I decide it's best if I extract myself from this situation, pronto. I told him I had to help make drinks & left. I gave a head's up to my shift leader about what had happened, which was probably good considering what happened next.

As she is out in the dining area he comes out of the bathroom (he was in there for about 15 minutes) & starts talking to her for a little bit. She came back smiling & told me that he was asking me all of those questions because he has a younger sister in Mexico that he wanted me to date & that I seem very nice. I just kind of laughed it off, but I'm not buying it. Why would he apologize for looking dirty & comment on my young appearance right before he said he is looking for a friend? I've been down this road before & everything he was doing, I've seen before. Be it a truck driver, a regular college student, a thug, a Wiccan, or a Mexican: they always want to "hang out." Sorry boys, but this *gestures to my hot bod* isn't free.

He was also probably in the bathroom so long because he was getting his wank on.

7 comments:

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

You blew it. He totally had a hot Mexican daughter, and then he would be your father in law. And THEN he would rape you in a coffee shop bathroom, and it would have been awesome.

Andrew said...

And I would have loved it, too.

Rebecca J-G said...

OK...EWWWW...that's all--just ewwwww

Caleb said...

Maybe old dirty AND the daughter? There's a blog post.

You get propositioned by that many people that often?

Andrew said...

Those are spread out over the past few years but yes, I have. I had a truck driver that wouldn't leave me alone when I worked at the movie theater & tried to get me to hang out with him in his truck when I got off my shift. Then there was the gangsta who wanted me to hang out with him on a snow day at the movie theater. And the other gangsta who told me that he was watching me when I was at work earlier in the week when we were busy. And the Wiccan...I was trying to be friends with but he was having none of that. There were the people in college who led me to believe they wanted to hang out when they wanted something more (nope! Not happening!). I've had people call Applebee's after they left to try to hang out with me. It's unreal. That doesn't even include all of the eye-raping that I get in public.

Cherise said...

Oh Andrew, how I love your life.

Aubree said...

i read this as "almost got raped by a bathroom" as in, the bathroom would be doing the raping. such a weird situation.