Monday, August 22, 2011

This Is What Happened....

It looks like I'm going to have to change my phone number.

I told Christy today that I had gotten her texts while my phone was "broken" & that I thought it was best we didn't talk anymore. That we didn't have anything in common. She called me immediately. I didn't answer & texted her back to not call me. She left me a 3 minute long voicemail, most of which was her forgetting to hang up. Sigh....

She started texting me again tonight when she apologized. I told her that I didn't think that was necessary because she hadn't done anything wrong. My whole thing with responding was that I didn't want her feeling bad when she didn't need to. But that opened up the floodgates again...

Then she started asking me why I said what I said, & that our old pastor told her he misses me & wants me to come back. I ignored that one.

Then she told me she had two questions for me. The first was if we were still best friends. I asked her what the second question was as my response. The other was why I told her not to call me. Sigh.

She's currently pestering me about forgetting her birthday & not going to her birthday dinner.

What drives me crazy about all of this is knowing that her grown-ass parents are there probably encouraging this. I mean, I told your daughter that I didn't want to be friends anymore & you're still giving her help on what to say?! Then again, letting her have a Facebook & giving her a phone with texting is much better than actually spending time with their handicapped daughter.

This has to get nipped in the bud pronto.

7 comments:

Nicole said...

That's all around no bueno, sorry dude.

Penny Lane said...

this is a tough situation. And I wouldn't know what to do, other than ignore it and hope she eventually gives up.

George said...

Penny is right, this is a very tough situation. Good luck.

myjoyproject said...

Oh Andrew, what a pickle! I really hope this all works out for you!

Charcoal Renderings said...

From the perspective of someone with a sibling with a mental handicap--

My little sister has cerebral palsy, not Down's, so the way to deal with them may be different, but in my experience direct statements are the best way to deal with things. It seems very stupid to me that her parents wouldn't be helpful in this matter, since with my sister, her attention span is such that without the guidance and discipline of the 'rents, she would be all over the place all the time. Ignoring her and hoping it will go away may not be the best option--for cases like this, usually the person with the handicap is seeking some kind of continuance or closure, and by ignoring her, she has no understanding of why you won't do what she wants, and therefore has no reason to stop asking you about it. My advice would be to try and contact her parents to see if they know about this and would be willing to talk to her about contacting you so much. I know that that can be awkward, but a mind affected by Down's or CP sometimes runs like it's on a loop--information just keeps get run through the same channels over and over, so unless you put a stop to a particular action or line of reasoning, it will keep coming back. My sister repeats herself constantly and we deal with it the same way: you do have to remember that her brain does not work the same way yours does and that subtle social nuances are completely ineffective, so when she asks you a question, you answer her honestly and succinctly, and if she asks again you repeat the same answer and say that she has already asked and you have already answered. It's not always easy to just stop the 'loop,' so enlisting her parents' help might be your best bet.

And please know that I don't say any of this to get on to you for the way you've handled this--it's a hard situation to know what the right way to handle things is, and I'm just trying to offer an 'inside' perspective. Hopefully this will help without you having to change numbers or anything. Good luck.

Andrew said...

Yes everyone, this is indeed a pickle.

Charcoal, I do appreciate your advice. I think her parents are aware of it because I can tell a difference in the typing from time to time. They've always been the type of parents who just buy her whatever she wanted because it might give them a break. She had a ton of movies so she'd stay in her room.

I honestly have no idea what to do at this point. She's currently texting me wanting the phone number for my parents. My mother is just absolutely over this because of the history between our two families.

jelai said...

she might be a burden to you now, but you see.. she's abnormal, she just seeks attention.. just try to forget her, just don't mind her, go on with your life.. you'll see, she'll just give up.. or maybe you can tell her again to stop bothering you, if in case she didn't understand what you told her. try talking to her parents too..