I drove over 3 hours, just listening to music & reflecting on the events of the past few weeks. Spring has always been a really tough time for me. As is Winter, Summer, & Fall. But Spring especially is full of heartache. It's when I've lost numerous friendships, experienced failed relationships, almost gotten kicked out of college, & now have had 2 grandparents die. It is when life begins anew, yet for me it's when I am forced to reflect on the mookie-storm (still trying to not cuss) my life is & always has been.
I know that everyone experiences these feelings of loneliness, but I see no reason why I've always struggled socially. I literally have no friends from my childhood. I don't have friends from when I was a teenager (because I really only had one, & that lasted less than a year. That actually may make an interesting post later on). In fact, the oldest friendship I have at this point is about 4 years old at this point.
I guess I'm just frustrated right now. I need some alone time, which is basically what I'm complaining about. But this will be different. This will be used for reflection, & maybe I'll be able to finally figure out how I feel about my grandfather dying last week (spoiler alert!). My last class this semester is over next week, so hopefully I'll be able to make this happen.
4 comments:
you're right about the loneliness, but the struggling socially sucks. i do have a couple friends from when i was a kid but they are some of my only ones, i only have like 3 or 4 friends i ever see in real life, lame.
good luck finishing off the semester awesomely, you can do it :)
Coming from a quieter individual who never felt as if she quite fit in . . . One thing I've learned is that if I can find one or two people in this life that I genuinely fit in with than I have done good. As long as I am true to myself and I have a few people who like me as I am, then I have done good. As long as you are happy with who you are and the decisions you make in life, then you have done good. It doesn't matter what the world thinks . . just be comfortable in your own skin Andrew. . you are a wonderful, funny, intelligent person and it matters not what others think of you. Believe in yourself. . . !!!
Andrew, I agree with Teachinspiration....but also, I LOVE YOU! Even though we don't see each other often, I consider you a friend and think of you daily...no lie! <3
Ha! I think I know who TeachInspiration is :)
Thanks Rebecca. I think of you daily as well.
I'm not in as much of a funk now as I was when I wrote this, but I still kind of am. I'm just overall frustrated. Rrrrrrrrrrage!
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