Friday, September 24, 2010

Restlessness Made Me Do It

I have failed to sleep thus far tonight, so to hopefully make myself become tired & pass the time before I start cutting my wrists in frustration because I have to work in 6 hours, I am going to write 50 Random Things You Probably Don't Know Or Care To Know About Me.

1. I'm allergic to red dye #40. When I was little I was given some medicine with it & completely blacked out. Apparently I attacked my parents though. For serious. I remember none of it.

2. Despite my love for animals, I despise animal movies because they always make me cry & they're emotionally manipulative.

3. I've tried to read "Lord of the Flies" twice but stopped at the same place both times because it's so terrible. I think the concept is fascinating but it's poorly executed & none of the characters are likable in my opinion.

4. I used to be terrified of that Crest commercial in the early 90's with the vampire.

5. I can listen to my favorite part of a song 10+ times. Just rewind/fast forward to that part over & over again.

6. In one shift working at Jersey Mike's Subs I slipped on turkey juice & scrapped the crap out of my knee when I fell onto the mat & later fell & hit my head on the bread rack.

7. A few shifts prior to that I sliced the tip of my thumb off on the slicer in front of a customer. When I went to the office to take care of it my co-workers, thinking I had cut myself, cleaned the knife & kept using the slicer.

8. On my 2nd-to-last night working at McDonald's before starting at Applebee's my manager that shift (who didn't like me. Shocking, I know) wouldn't unlock the doors for me to leave when I got off & I had to climb through the drive-thru.

9. When I was 6 I started dancing on the toilet lid & fell off. I then hit my head on the toilet & had to be taken to the hospital to get stitches. The doctors thought the story was completely stupid so they were going to call Child Services if my story didn't match up. But it did.

10. I was unmoved when Mufasa died in "The Lion King" because I felt like it was too formulaic & manipulative.

11. However, I was inconsolable when the scorpion killed the ant in "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids." To make me feel better, we rented "An American Tale: Fievel Goes West." Too bad there was a scorpion in that as well which just made me cry all over again.

12. Most would say my taste in movies, TV, music, clothes, & hairstyles is horrid but whatever.

13. When I was 6/7 I took karate. I was in a competition & came in 2nd to the kid who won Nationals that year. I was almost a black belt when I had to quit because we were moving/my parents got their undies in a bunch about the teachers.

14. I played soccer for a summer when I was 10. I was terrified of the ball & if I got it, I'd just kick it. To my own team, the other team, out of bounds. Anything to get it away from me. The coach would actually say in the huddle to make sure I didn't get the ball. He also told me to shut up & pay attention when I asked him what happened while I was sitting out.

15. During a game I got knocked unconscious by the ball.

16. I can't even look at a jar of mayo without getting nauseas.

17. If I'm with someone who is drinking milk or is eating cereal with it, it makes me nauseas. I dislike milk. I was also told not to say anything about that around the customers at work the other day, which I'm now taking on as a personal challenge to make sure I do.

18. One time this lady stepped out in front of my car in a parking lot & my response was to slam on my brakes & cover my eyes.

19. When I was a senior in high school I had to take a career assessment. The top 2 results were Museum Curator & Art Appraiser. I was not pleased.

20. I'm still recognized back home as one of the kids who was in "The Sound of Music" at the community theater 10 1/2 years ago.

21. When I was younger I won a few art awards for my pottery & mixed media pieces. I made a mirror frame out of clay that people were offering to buy for hundreds of dollars but I wasn't able to sell because I was a minor. It was then destroyed when a flood ravaged our town & the art center was submerged.

22. I'm a perfectionist. If I don't get something right away, I get incredibly frustrated & think I'm a failure.

23. I had to undergo speech therapy twice for my stutter & lisp. I still have both occasionally; primarily the stutter.

24. While having my vocabulary assessed (by having me name pictures) for speech therapy when I was 4, we found out that I had a middle school vocabulary. I would have gotten higher but I didn't know what the picture of a pork chop was because we didn't eat pork.

25. I had to be potty-trained twice because I decided I didn't want to be anymore & started going in my pants again.

26. I get massive test anxiety & even had an anxiety attack during a math final in college.

27. I've run over 2 squirrels, a puppy, & a frog. All of them have been on whichever street I was living on at the time, meaning I had to see their mangled corpses for days/weeks later.

28. When I was 10 & 11, my mom & I would volunteer at the homeless shelter soup kitchen. One time there was a fight & I had to go hide in the storage area.

29. Our last family vacation was in December 2001.

30. My driving instructor was an idiot. He was constantly putting lotion on his legs & when I asked if we could turn the A/C on (it was North Carolina in August) he said no. I found out from the other kid I was taking it with that on the days where I'd get dropped off first the guy would turn the A/C on as soon as I was out of the car. He also called me 'Andrews' the whole time which confused me. It turns out that he thought that was my last name & he was horribly confused when he found out my first name was Andrew & tried to put the name on the passing form as 'Andrew Andrews.'

31. I have a really embarrassing tattoo.

32. When I took Public Speaking I did a speech on becoming a vegetarian. It wasn't very well-received.

33. I was hit in the leg with a sign by a customer when I worked at the theater & was bullied by my manager to press assault charges on her primarily because she was black & he was racist. That whole ordeal took a year to resolve & I didn't even ask for money. I just wanted it on her record because she had a rancid attitude.

34. Despite my late grandmother & her paying for lessons, I am not a very good swimmer. I can't dive nor can I swim under the water very well. When I went skinny dipping one time I almost drown because I got out too deep & no one would come over & help me because we were all naked.

35. My first time getting drunk I walked around outside naked, tried to masturbate, & drunk dialed practically everyone in my phone.

36. When I was 7 I dug a bunch of holes in the front yard for my zoo animals to have watering holes. My mom told me to fill them back in, so I covered them with pine straw. Of course, she stepped in one & sprained her ankle.

37. At 22 (almost 23) I dated a girl who had just turned 17. I went with her to the prom & everything. It lasted a month. I'm still surprised we aren't together.

38. I've almost been arrested for being with people who were shooting off illegal fireworks.

39. I currently weigh about 90 lbs more than I did when I was 5.

40. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people try to seriously sing a song & don't know the words (my old piano teacher comes to mind). It's one of the few occasions where I'll laugh at someone right to their face.

41. When I got my tattoo (at 20) my mother cried & my dad yelled at me & said, & I quote directly, "What if you FINALLY get a girlfriend & you fall in love? Then she finds out you have a tattoo & breaks up with you & you'll be single forever!" Yes, he seriously said that. I laughed in response. My favorite part was the emphasis on 'finally.'

42. I've moved 15 times. Yes, that includes dorm rooms.

43. Whenever people find out I was Valedictorian of my high school, their first question always is always, "Seriously?" Their second question is always, "How big was your high school?"

44. In kindergarten we had to practice for a walk-a-thon fundraiser. I managed to sprain my leg & couldn't participate. Nor could I walk for almost a week.

45. We used to live in a house infested with bats. One time one flew into the back of my head. My dad would dispose of them by taking a fishing net on a pole & a golf club & know. I could never watch.

46. When I went on a mission trip to Panama the summer I turned 18 a bunch of people got dehydrated & had to go to the hospital. I was so depressed, homesick, lonely, & miserable there I tried to make myself get dehydrated so I could either go to the hospital or be considered mentally unstable & get sent home but the leaders found out & they just forced me to drink water until I almost puked every day.

47. I love the song "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley but I can't listen to it because it makes me so sad.

48. The only times I've ever thrown up because of alcohol it was because of that bitch tequila. The first time I actually think I had alcohol poisoning because after I puked I started shaking a whole lot.

49. When I was learning to drive before driver's ed my mom had me go around the neighborhood. When I turned into our driveway I managed to turn off the headlights & almost take out the bushes. Then when I tried to park I drove through the fence with such force that it knocked down 16 ft of it. And by knocked down, I mean it took the pole completely out of the ground & none of the boards broke. I cried. My mother thought it was hilarious.

50. When I think about you I touch myself.

No comments: